Are You Ahead of the Game?

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Two indicators tell us a great deal about life and where the world is headed. Firstly, more and more people are suffering from depression in the United States, which ironically is known as the Land of Opportunity. Secondly, the self-help market is booming and was valued at $41.81 billion in 2021. The moral of the story is that people want to change their lives. What is, isn’t good enough!

That longing for something better to sweeten the bitter, for the most part, is a hunger of the soul that we try to satisfy with artificial sweeteners such as materialism, shopping, status, improper relationships, power, and all kinds of unhealthy fillers that are poison for the soul. Hence, our souls are suffering from acid reflux, and it manifests as sadness, depression, endless longing and all kinds of troubles.

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As students of life, we certainly know that both physically and spiritually a bad “diet” saps our energy: In the physical realm, simple carbs and processed foods leave us exhausted soon after a meal. In the spiritual realm, the first words we  hear from Esau in the Torah are, “I am tired” (Genesis 26:30), a resultant fatigue of his steady menu of sins.

We too continue to feed ourselves all the wrong things on so many fronts. We have bad physical and spiritual habits and as a result, as many stats show, mankind wants change--badly. And yet, a famous quote seems to echo year after year: “The more things change, the more they stay the same.”

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Habits. Habits. Habits. We continue to talk the same talk and walk the same walk. Our feet are running the show (pun intended). In fact, in Hebrew, the root word for feet and habit is the same (resh, gimmel, lamed.) That certainly tells us something. The feet, and not the head, are leading the way.

But thankfully, every year, the blasting of the shofar awakens us from our lumbering and slumbering and reminds us that now is the time to change. And if the Torah instructs us to change, it means that we are able to do so.

Most parents, when sending their children off into the fray of life, tell them: “Be careful and use your head.” But isn’t that advice all rhetoric? What else would we use to engage life? An elbow?

It is only as we grow older that we realize that what we once deemed as a parental platitude is wisdom that no sophist can equal. For even though the head sits as the crown of the body, for most of us, it is every other body part that rules. Our palates salivate, so we grab for the extra cookie; our eyes desire, so we so we touch or take what we shouldn’t; our desires flare, so we reach for the forbidden; our legs grow weary, so we abandon the treadmill; our tongues grow restless, and we unfurl gossip. Our duties as Jews beckon us, but we yield to the temptations of the moment and the seductions of a rotting world.

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Quite honestly, unless you’re a tightrope walker, it’s a little embarrassing to think that we are taking life advice from our feet. Did we ever hear of a head of state seeking advice from the best feet among his citizens? They seek out the best minds as advisors! So as the New Year approaches, that farewell warning our mothers and fathers gave us while standing by the front gate should echo with solemnity: USE YOUR HEAD!

Rosh Hashanah is not translated as “New Year” for there is nothing “new” about it if tomorrow we behave exactly as we did yesterday. But rather, it is translated as “head” of the year; for just as the head is the command center that should direct the rest of the body so, too, Rosh Hashanah should be the command center that will tell us what to do over the entire coming year.  Think of it as a time release capsule. The energy created and focused on that day will diffuse throughout the 12 months ahead. Set your intentions and then ready and brainwash your body to comply.

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Although the lessons of Rosh Hashana are over 5700 years old, modern thinkers are just discovering this wisdom. The key to life is in the HEAD, mind over matter. 

We can change. In high school we learned that human beings are made up of atoms. But did you know that atoms are composed of 99.99999 percent energy and only .00001 percent physical substance. So basically, as Dr. Joe Dispenza points out, we are more nothing than something.  That offers hope. It means that our bad habits or all we think we are or are not, isn’t set in stone.  Within that vast realm of energy is infinite potentiality to recreate ourselves optimally in His Image. The distorted shadows our lives cast is because we’ve stepped out of line with His will: “Be holy because I am  holy.” 

The power to recreate by getting closer to Hashem and keeping more commandments is ever more accessible during Rosh Hashana because this time of year aligns with the energy of the creation of mankind and the world. So take the potency of Rosh Hashanah into the New Year and be a victor of habit instead of its victim. 

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Bad habits can be sins because they disconnect us from the Source, keep us depressed, injure our health and keep us limited. We limit ourselves when G-d tells us that the entire world is ours for the taking: “"Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it….” (Genesis 1:28).  

Our habits don’t have to be constricting and destructive. Tap into the Source of all life and nothing can stop you. 

So, my friends before you put your best foot forward in the New Year, which I pray you do, use your head and let it lead the way to a blessed and amazing new year! 

Shanah Tovah!  Shabbat Shalom.

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Another Look at Life

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If you ask people to express what they want most  in life, the majority will say: Happiness.

“I just want to be happy” is a mantra that echoes in the longing hearts of so many individuals. And yet, this seemingly simple goal seems to evade so many of us. Gurus and self-help books offer much advice on how to grasp this elusive objective. They make their millions and as for us, well, recent statistics show that only 19 percent of Americans are “very happy.” Twenty four percent indicated they were "not very happy." The remaining respondents labelled themselves as "fairly happy.”

The ancient Jewish teachings of the Mishna teach us the way to achieve happiness in one sentence, which in Jewish fashion, starts with a question: “Who is rich[contented]? One who is happy with his lot.” Happiness, my friends, is a state of mind that is reached through one thing alone: Gratitude.

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Gratitude is the means through which we discipline ourselves to appreciate what we have now and in the moment. Gratitude is our testament of faith whereby we acknowledge that things are happening FOR us, not TO us. Instead, most of us grumble as we go and imagine all the things we think we need, with the uncorroborated hopes that they will make us happier. When we live in gratitude instead of “baditude,” we focus on what we have, we value our lot, instead of pouring destructive energy into what we lack. As the expression goes: “Where focus goes, energy flows.”

Unfortunately, an even more popular sentence starts with, “I’m grateful, don’t get me wrong, BUT….” There is always a "but." In Hebrew, the word aval, BUT, is spelled the same as the word mourning. The but allows us to pivot to sadness and complaints.

When we live with gratitude, there are no “ifs,” “ands,” or “buts”! And that is why the first thing a Jew says every morning before getting out of bed is, “Thank You.”  This 12-word Hebrew prayer “Modeh Ani” inverts normal syntax and loosely translated starts with, “Thank You, I.” The “thanks” comes before the “I.” Living in gratitude is living in faith and it is transformative.

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Modern studies prove this to be true.  If we make sincere gratitude, ritual gratitude, a daily practice, we can increase our happiness and even improve our health. Gratitude reduces cortisol in the body, reduces depression, improves relationships, and improves productivity and loyalty in employees. It also has a pay-it-forward impact. Whereas misery loves company, gratitude is a creative force that illuminates the world and realigns it.

It’s interesting that in Hebrew the word for thank you is todah, when those same letters are permuted, they spell the word dotah which means “illness.” When we are unthankful, we are like an emotionally sick person and we separate ourselves from the Source of life and abundance. For certain the ungrateful among us eat themselves up alive and make themselves sick.

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Being thankful and grateful is not only a state of mind; it has to be reflected in actions. We have to think thanks and also speak it and do it! And so, in this week’s Torah reading, Moses tells the Israelites that when they come to the Promised Land, they are to bring the first-ripened fruits and declare gratitude for all that G‑d has done for them. Giving thanks reminds us that we are not responsible for our success. Gratitude is a life-enhancing holy lens through which to view the world and the part we play in it.

And though today there is no Temple to which we can bring fruits, we can and must still express our gratitude. We can do this by giving charity (ten to 20 percent of our incomes), by praying every day to G-d for all we have and all we are, by doing mitzvot, and by saying thank you to the people we interact with in our lives. Modern day people might be inclined to roll their eyes when they hear that King David advocated saying 100 blessings a day, i.e., phrases of thanks, to ward off a plague. Today, science shows that practicing gratitude rewires our brains and keeps us healthy.

Both personally and professionally, I’ve known too many people who have a “use them and abuse them” mentality. They take what they can from us, even from G-d, and when our usefulness expires, they kick us to the curb. These thankless people may regard themselves as geniuses in their game of life, but the Torah regards them as Pharaohs, as arrogant enemies of Hashem. People are the vessels through which G-d delivers His blessings. If you treat people badly, you treat G-d badly. 

We read in the Torah about Joseph’s death, and how “a new king arose over Egypt who knew not Joseph.” This is the Joseph who made the country rich and saved it from ruin. This is the famous Joseph, with a coat of many colors, who we all still know about thousands of years later. Yet, somehow, Pharaoh just couldn’t seem to remember him. After all, remembering comes with a heavy price - we might have to say, “Thank you.” Instead, the new Pharaoh showed his gratitude by enslaving Joseph’s people and descendants and embittering their lives.  The consequence? G-d smashed Pharaoh and his people.

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In contrast, the Torah teaches us a very different lesson about gratitude. After all the suffering which the Egyptians caused the Israelites over their long years of slavery, the Torah commands us, “You shall not hate an Egyptian.” Why not?  We are not permitted to despise them because they once hosted us in a time of need. We were once sojourners in their land. If we are not permitted to hate those who tormented us because they were once good to us, imagine how much more we owe those who were good to us! And how much gratitude we owe to G-d most of all!

There are many other examples in the Torah which offer us sensitivity training about appreciation: Moses would not strike the waters of the Nile and turn them to blood because those waters had saved his life when he was a baby.

It is only when we are in a perpetual state of gratitude that our best blessings are yet to come. The Talmud teaches that the Divine presence will not rest on a person in a state of sadness. Gratitude is a fundamental of Judaism. In fact, the term "Yehudi"-- Jew, comes from the Hebrew name Yehuda, which means thanks and gratitude. It is thus from the tribe of Yehuda that the Mashiach will come. 

Change your mind, change your find! If you’re grateful you can be happy now. Put on your rose colored glasses and give life a new look!

Shabbat Shalom

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What's Left on Your Plate?

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A few years ago, someone told me about an all–you-can-eat restaurant that charges customers a fixed price no matter how much food they pack on their plates. But then, the establishment ALSO charges customers by weight for the food they leave on their plates, basically for the food they waste. What a clever idea to minimize squander!

 

And since my mind is always steeped in Torah, I could not help but make the quick leap to our relationship with the Almighty and our purpose in life: When our time comes, how much of our life’s purpose will be actualized and how much will still be left on the “plate” and wasted?

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Indeed, all of us have things for which we need to repent and have regrets for things we’ve done. We pray, we’re contrite and beg G-d to forgive us.  But few of us realize that on Judgment Day, we will also have to account for all the things we failed to do.

 

We have only one life in which to partake and utilize the beautiful “smorgasbord” of opportunities and talents with which we were blessed. Yet, sadly, so many of us waste our lives. We starve our potential and feed our fears. But that is no healthy regimen.

 

As the famous quote goes: “Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!” Why are we starving? Because we satisfy ourselves with artificial sweeteners instead of harvesting our talents and potential. We get lost in a world of distractions and amuse ourselves with frippery to pass the time. We let all that life has to offer us and all that we have to offer life, rot and grow cold on the table. We forget that we are here for a reason, a G-dly reason.

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And that is a shame, a travesty, and a tragedy because each one of us is special and has something unique to offer the world.

 

Do you recall the old General Electric motto? “We Bring Good Things to Life”  Well, if GE brings good things to life, just imagine what G-d brings to life! For certain, remarkable things and necessary things. G-d indeed created ex nihilo, i.e., something from nothing. But He doesn’t create something for nothing. He made man and fashioned us in His image. And each of us has a Divine and moral obligation to fulfill our unique potential. G-d said, “Let us make man,” in the plural. We must be partners in our own creation.

 

If you’ll oblige me a moment of levity this reminds me of a joke: “Why did the patient fire his therapist after eating a buffet-style meal at his doctor's house? Because when the patient arrived his therapist told him, ‘Help yourself!’”

 

What stops us from helping ourselves and activating our potential? The answer can be found in this week’s Parasha, Ki Teitzei, which prohibits us from plowing a field with an ox and donkey together. There are many explanations for this prohibition, but the one relevant to us now is that the ox represents the elevated part in us that strives for spiritual greatness, while the donkey represents materialism with its earthly, gravitational pull. We cannot cultivate our Divine potential and greatness while tethered to the disruptive forces of the donkey. In fact, if you rearrange the Hebrew letters of chamor, meaning donkey, it becomes machar --“tomorrow.”  We have the ability to activate our purpose now, but too often we put it off until tomorrow. And as we all well know, tomorrow never comes.

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And so this week’s Torah  reading starts with the words: “When you go out to war on your enemies, the L‑rd, your G‑d, shall deliver them into your hands….”

 

The sages teach that this is not just a physical war, but also a spiritual war against the evil inclination, the Satan. Playing on our fears, he is the one who advocates for tomorrow and distracts us from doing things now! He stalls us and makes us afraid to try positing possibilities of failure. In fact, he is procrastination’s best PR "person."

 

But he is an enemy we must and can fight. We must live in faith, not fear! Imagine a seed that was afraid to change, so it never became a flower; imagine an acorn that was afraid to change, so it never became an oak tree; imagine a caterpillar that was afraid to change, so it never became a butterfly;  imagine an embryo afraid to become a fetus and a baby afraid to leave its mother’s womb.

 

People equate change with loss. But the loss is in NOT changing, in not becoming, in not growing, in not developing and in not maximizing our talents to add value to the world and to serve G-d’s will.

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There is an old but sad joke about Brazil: "Brazil has great potential and it always will." In other words, the potential is never fulfilled. Don't be Brazil!

 

G-d promises us that if we go to war against this enemy, which I call the naysayer, the propagator of fear and self-doubt, G-d will help us. G-d helps those who help themselves. So don’t be afraid to fail. You cannot become a great juggler without first dropping a lot of balls.

 

To quote Winston Churchill: “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” 

 

It’s been said, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”  What’s true in a geo-political historical context is true for us personally as well. The evil inclination triumphs when we, good men, good women, do nothing with our lives and squander our potential.

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How many gifts and blessings has G-d put on our figurative plates? Many more than we can digest in a lifetime. Yet how many of our gifts and talents do we really use and develop to better the world, to serve G-d, to help humankind, and to help ourselves? 

 

With the High Holidays before us, it would serve us well to home in on our unique purpose and talents and start taking stock of our unused and untapped potential. Waste not, want not! Know that G-d will weigh our figurative plates and each of us will be asked a simple question: Why weren’t you as fruitful as you could be? And then, of course, there is always a price to pay.                                                                                             Shabbat Shalom

 

So That's What You're Thinking?

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Freedom is such a great gift. But shockingly, there are some who are afraid of it.  There are prisoners who prefer to remain in prison, and abused spouses or employees who are more afraid to leave than to stay. And though most of us can’t understand why people would make such choices -- convinced that we would choose otherwise -- the truth is that we too are prisoners. We are captives of our limiting thoughts and mindsets which keep us locked in the past, locked in anger, fear, insecurities, hate, self–doubt or the blame game. The list of things controlling our thoughts is long - long enough to weave a noose to hang all our potential. But the Torah tells us to choose life.

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Yet, how can we really choose life when our beliefs are stuck in a thought loop that sings much like a dirge. Friends, it is life altering and essential to realize that without freedom of mind, freedom of mobility is just an illusion. We function on autopilot and walk pre-encoded paths. Without freedom of mind, physical freedoms are under constant threat. This is true of nations and of individuals. Freedom is something we must fight for every day of our lives because every moment offers us a choice. Who is in charge of the decisions that shape your life? Do you really have freedom, or do you react in default mode?

 

“Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction,” said President Ronald Reagan. “We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.”

 

But long before the American president spoke these powerful, true words, Judaism taught that, “In every generation, a person is obligated to regard himself as if he personally left Egypt.” For Egypt is not just a country on the map. It is a mindset. And the battle bequeathed to us is to constantly transcend our current selves and question what we are thinking and why we are thinking it. The word “Egypt” in Hebrew means limitations. If we are to live with purpose and have a fulfilled life, then it is incumbent upon us to free ourselves from our limitations, from our figurative “Egypts,” every moment of our lives.

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In this week’s Parasha, Shoftim we are reminded of G-d’s warning to the Israelites after leaving Egypt: “You shall not return that way anymore."  Some people fear freedom because it comes with great responsibility. It is hard to break the chains of a slave mentality. After they were freed from Egypt, many of the Israelites complained and advocated returning with distorted recollections leading the way, “We remember the fish that we ate in Egypt free of charge, the cucumbers, the watermelons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic.”

 

If you want to meet the person you are capable of becoming, then you must break the chains that control your thoughts and let go of toxic and paralyzing beliefs about yourself. We have all heard the expression mind over matter. Physicist Max Plank, an originator of the quantum theory said, “I regard consciousness as fundamental. I regard matter as derivative from consciousness." God’s consciousness created the world, and our thoughts create our reality. 

 

Modern science and self-help gurus speak and write abundantly about the power of positive thinking. But Judaism has been teaching this for thousands of years -- not merely because it’s nice to be positive, but rather because of the creative power of thoughts.

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The Tenth commandment, “Thou shalt no covet” is a sin of the mind, and yet it is considered the most dangerous one to violate because coveting (thinking about) what another has will lead to the violation of all the other commandments. The power of the mind! What you thought is what you brought. Our mothers warned us to watch our steps, but watching our thoughts is even more  important and will better guard and guide our steps.

 

This month of Elul is a time of introspection and repentance before the Jewish High Holy Days. But how can we repent or hope to change if the poisonous mindsets of yesterday continue to accompany us along the way. Einstein said that we can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. It’s interesting to note that many of the survivors of the Holocaust survived because of their visualizations of life beyond the concentration camp barbed wire fences. 

 

If you want to change your life, change your thinking. If you want to be free, don’t compete with elephants as to who has a better memory.

 

Here is an example of why it’s not good to have a memory like an elephant. Consider a baby elephant which is tied by a rope to a stake in the ground. When he’s a baby he's not strong enough to pull the stake up. Eventually he becomes strong and is amply capable of doing so, but his mind has already been conditioned so he doesn’t even try.

 

Chabad Chasidism teaches, “Think good and it will be good.” Positive thinking is a force multiplier. A healthy mind is your most important weapon. As the saying goes, “Change your mind, change you find.”

 

In this week’s Torah reading, the Israelites are told to pursue the truth; earlier they are told to distance themselves from lies. Our instinct is to distance ourselves from liars and to be with honest people. But, my friends, the person we lie to the most is usually ourselves.

 

We let Satan play with our minds and convince us that we are dumb or failures, has-beens, or wannabees. He makes us scared to be free and convinces us to return to Egypt, to our limitations. But G-d promises us a Land flowing with milk and honey. He asks of us not to be bitter, but to be better. He opened the sea before us and gave us the Book of Life and commanded us not to look back.  “…For the L-rd said to you, ‘You shall not return that way anymore.’”   Shabbat Shalom!

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