Who Are You?

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Pulling out my calling cards made me feel important: ABC News, Fox News, Lifestyles Magazine, not shabby affiliations by any means. And as a journalist, I have to admit, at the onset of my career, meeting prominent people was intoxicating. There it was, my name in the byline next to world-famous headliners, congressmen, journalists and rock stars. At first, I was so proud of myself—a superstar by affiliation, but not for long. When you rub shoulders with such people, what really rubs off?

As we know well, all that glitters is not gold. For the most part, it was a fake world, simultaneously bamboozled and paranoid with itself. Some of the people I interviewed and met have been indicted and have done pretty bad things; am I now guilty by association? It seems only fair, seeing I gained honor from their klieg lights. At what expense, I ask, are we hanging on to our titles, prestige or make-belief visions and versions of ourselves? A whole life goes by without truth. We cling to every status symbol, strive for even more, never deeply contemplating who the real audience is.

I consider myself fortunate because for every "star" I've pursued, I was keenly aware of the presence of a Higher Power above them, Hashem. When I finally realized I was living in a vapid world of make-believe, there was something real and unchanging for me to grasp onto—G-d and His Torah. Scrolled up in the heart of every synagogue is the true infinite source of light, not one that switches off when the show is over or burns out midway. 

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To be fair, some whom I’ve met were highly inspirational and I’ve learned from them. But my proudest affiliation is with G-d. Working for Him alone is when I really became a somebody. And I’m proud of my latest title. No, it is not editor-in-chief, producer, pundit, or Queen of Questions—it is a servant of G-d. In this job, what is real about me has lasted; sculpted by the word of G-d, the stardust is all gone. 

We have only to look to Moses as the ideal role model. He never even applied for the greatest job in history. He was assigned it nonetheless, for his resume had life’s greatest and rarest trait, humility. The greatest prophet in history, who spoke face-to-face with G-d, did not have business cards that read Prophet-in-Chief or CEO of the Torah. Moses was called a servant of G-d. His humility made him the worthy and blessed vessel to receive the greatest gift ever given to humanity, the Torah. King David's humility too made him the greatest king in history: "And I am a worm and not a man." (Psalms 22:17) 

Today, humility is more rare than ever. Our egos and pride have become massive scaffolds holding up our house of cards. But when life huffs and puffs, it will blow our house down. 

In this week’s Torah reading, once again, Moses laments the fact that G-d won’t let him into the Promised Land. He beseeches G-d 515 times, to no avail. We are taught that Moses begged G-d to let him enter the Land even as a beast of the field. Titles didn’t matter to Moses. To serve G-d, to reach the prized destination following the liberation from Egypt, he was ready for the most dramatic of demotions. He knew what we egoists can’t get through our swollen heads, nothing matters but G-d. He is the only audience we have, “ein od milvado.”/ “There is nothing but Him.” When one acknowledges that fact deeply, pretense begins to fall away. If we adjust our self-talk from "all eyes are on me" to "HIS eyes are on me," then we will be putting on a completely different show. Misleading pretexts will give way to genuine purpose. (And friends, it’s never ever too late.) 

When we leave a job, retire, or get fired, and our business cards become obsolete as we are no longer who they say we are, then who are we? If we want to know who we are, then we must know from where we come. We are the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. We are the students of Moses and the trustees of the Divine word chosen by God Himself. We are Jews. Deliverers of light. That is our job and duty. So, stop focusing on the calling cards and bend your ear toward your calling.

                                                     Shabbat Shalom!

 

Feeling No Pain

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We are a generation that is quite adept at deadening life’s pains in a variety of creative ways - from popping pills to pursuing seductive pleasures. We reason that all our troubles will just go away with just a bit more alcohol, a few more puffs of marijuana, more online shopping, another vacation, or another Botox injection. We close our eyes to reality and open them instead to mind-numbing entertainment - from TikTok to Netflix to social media. We have become so good at distracting and fooling ourselves that some of us even convince ourselves that we love our lives even while everything is crumbling around us. But if we really loved our life, would we be running away from it?

What people mistake for “love” is the need for certainty. Change can be so terrifying that instead of facing life with open eyes and courage, we pretend things are ok by dulling our senses in a variety of ways. We keep hoping that our denial will prevent things from crashing in on us. But hope, my friends, is not a strategy.

We just don't want change and will avoid it by any means. But we are not born to stagnate, as we know even standing water breeds bacteria or fungi. We mustn’t let our comfort zones paralyze us; always keep moving—there’s always room to grow in our service and commitment to G-d, our community, and in all aspects of our lives. In fact, the first Commandment to man is to be fruitful and multiply -- not only by having offspring but by being productive, ever-changing, ever-refined conduits for Divine light. We are not supposed to go with the flow…. but grow with the flow. And for true growth, we often have to resist the flow.

When the lives we build seem to be crashing in on us, we should not be reaching for the vodka or the TV remote control, but rather asking, “What is G-d trying to tell us?” In fact, all of life is a conversation with G-d - not just with our mouths but with our entire beings.

We are antennas, and the only way we can pick up G-d’s frequency is by keeping His Torah. If we move the dial and step out of frequency with His will, our reality becomes filled with chaotic static.

Look at what is going on in Israel now. G-d didn't give us Israel so we can run to the beach and turn it into a secular playground. We have the State of Israel in order to serve G-d, and if we will corrupt the land with our misbehaviors, it will vomit us out. G-d's words not mine.  If we are not united in a common vision with all eyes on G-d, we risk becoming irreparably fractured, sadly tearing ourselves apart, doing to ourselves what our enemies couldn't accomplish." United we stand, divided we fall, but we have to be united in keeping G-d's Torah. When we've tried to do otherwise through history, it did not work well for us.

The only way to better our world and our lives, to bring peace to Israel among Jews themselves, is to return to Hashem. We know that because He told us, and G-d is not a liar. “And it will be if you obey the L-rd, your G-d, to observe to fulfill all His commandments which I command you this day, the L-rd, your G-d, will place you supreme above all the nations of the earth…And all these blessings will come upon you and cleave to you.…” (Deuteronomy 28:1-2)

In this week’s Torah reading of Devarim, Moses reminds the Israelites of their errors throughout their 40 years in the desert. As Moses recaps their journey, we twice read how G-d told the Jews that it was time to move on: “You have dwelt long enough at this mountain,” and then, “You have circled this mountain long enough.”

These are not merely prompts to command the Jews to travel towards the Holy Land. They are rather messages to continually remind us to stop being comfortable with what we’re doing and who we are. We must keep moving, keep becoming, and never glorify any one spot physically or spiritually.

In Judaism, we believe that if one changes one’s place, one changes one’s fortunes. On a simple level, this refers to a change of physical location. On a more profound echelon, it means continually shaking up our spiritual realities. If we continually improve ourselves as people and as Jews, we will never walk in the same place twice but rather transform ourselves and the space we occupy. After all, we were not mandated to go silently into that good night, but rather to light the way. 

What's Blocking The Light?

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There is no aspect of spring cleaning after a hard winter that is more satisfying than window washing. A half a bottle of Windex and a lot of paper towels later, the view of the world outside becomes clearer, brighter and in some way even lighter. Every swipe seems to wipe away a bit of sadness as the flecks and grime give way to enthusiastic manpower allowing greater light to enter. But when G-d said, “Let there be light,” was He talking about our windows? I dare posit a philosophical “Yes” as all physical manifestations are reflections of a higher world. They are the means through which we can learn more about G-d and our existence. The moral of the window-washing story is streak-free clear: When we clean up our acts, we let the light in.

We all know that beautiful things grow in the light, i.e., flowers, trees, fruit and children too. Yet, so many of us cling to the darkness, even with all its uncertainty and turmoil, because we find comfort there in the familiar blackness of doing things as usual, in retracing yesterday's tracks. We strive to escape the gloomy shadows of our lives not realizing we are the very ones blocking the light.

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More often than not when things go wrong, we question, “Where is G-d?" rather than questioning ourselves, “Where am I in relation to His light?” The sages teach us that sin sullies our souls and blocks us from being vessels for the G-dly light. We become so veiled and dirtied by sin that we can neither be, nor see, the light. Nothing beautiful can radiate in or out becomes we are such a mucky mess.

Before the first man, Adam, sinned, he was enveloped in a halo of light. But after the sin, the garment of “light” which cloaked him and radiated through his body was diminished and replaced by garments of skin.  He reduced his soul to a state of opaqueness and concealment making it ever harder to recognize itself and its relationship to G-d. It is no coincidence that in Hebrew the word for “skin” and “light” are homonyms, or. The kabbalist known as Or ha-Ḥayyim teaches that when G-d turned the skin of Moses' face into light, He demonstrated that the process which had once turned light into skin was reversible and that man could be rehabilitated to the spiritual level he once enjoyed prior to the sin.

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What is our job, great nobility that we are? We are the cleanup crew. But Windex won’t do the job to raise the shattered holy sparks which became dispersed in all things in this world through creation and Adam’s sin. G-d gave us the directives on how to clean our souls and bring the light (sparks) out of the dark places if we follow His Torah and make it our Torah. Interestingly, Einstein’s famous equation E = mc² teaches us that there is light in all things. G-d teaches us how to properly retrieve it. Each of the commandments cleanses us and elevates us and makes us worthy receptacles of G-d’s blessings and Light.

But if we don’t change our ways and clean ourselves up on our own, then G-d will send in the pressure washer. In this week’s Torah reading we read of all the 42 encampments (and backtracking) the Israelites set up and broke down during their 40 years of wandering. Not an easy, smoothly-paved road. But they created many of the bumps and hurdles by themselves by continually sinning and rebelling against G-d and Moses and failing the many tests G-d set before them. Each hardship and encampment through which the Israelites journeyed was a cleansing and served as a preparation for the gift of the Land of Israel. Do you personally really want to figuratively wander blindly for 40 years and wonder why your life resembles a man-made disaster zone that only G-d can repair? Or would you prefer to take matters into your own hands? Start keeping kosher, lighting Sabbath candles, pick up a book of Judaism, stop sinning and spinning in circles…just start cleaning up somewhere in your spiritual house.

Further proof that G-d cleans what He loves is that the Israelites are not commanded to merely meander into town and make friends with their new Canaanite neighbors. Rather, they are commanded to drive them all out of the land and destroy their structures of worship and idols. Before something G-dly can enter, before blessings can enter, our inner and outer “worlds” need to be cleaned. The Israelites are also warned, “And let the land not vomit you out for having defiled it, as it vomited out the nation that preceded you.” 

It is interesting and tragic that we live in an age where every resource is available to humankind to enlighten it and yet it cannot see the light--or free the light. But friends, we are made in G-d’s image and so we have the power to radically change everything, personally and globally. If we would only clean our spiritual windows with the Word of G-d, we’d see how dramatically the stains of winter would abscond and how beautifully and powerfully the  light would shine through and heal the mess we've made. Shabbat Shalom!

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The FEET of The Brain

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I love going for long walks in the outdoors and exploring new places and paths. But I've noticed that no matter how far I walk or the new scenery I encounter, sometimes I take old thoughts with me. The inner critic is persistent, and instead of it being a nature walk, it becomes the walk of shame and self-blame.

My feet are free to wander into the unknown, but my own memories and thoughts are still chained to yesterday. There's nothing wrong with reminiscing, but there is something wrong when we continually beat ourselves up over yesterday's misdeeds and can't find it in our hearts to forgive ourselves. Somehow, we feel that if we keep ourselves in a state of perpetual self-admonishment and self-flagellation, it's a way of redeeming ourselves. In truth, it does the opposite. Think of yourself as a pickle marinating in sour brine. It serves only to preserve the pickle in a state of sourness.

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On one such walk, while listening to a Torah shiur on YouTube as I often do, I was once again burdened by my mistakes. I asked God when He would forgive me because the mess my life was in seemed to indicate that He had not. At that moment, in the recorded class, the rabbi said words that stunned me and stopped me in my tracks. I don't remember the context, but he said, "Hashem doesn't want you to repeat your apologies every day. If you're sincere in your sorry, in word and deed, He will forgive you. Now stop kvetching and learn to forgive yourself." Wow, for the first time in a long time, my feet were now stuck, but my brain had a new path to explore.

Friends, if we continually beat ourselves up over yesterday, what chance does today or tomorrow have? The Talmud claims that someone who repeats a confession on a past misdeed is likened to "…a dog who returns to his own vomit, so is a fool who persists in his folly" (Proverbs 26:11).

 

For the purposes of this article, let's define self-forgiveness as breaking away from the past, extracting ourselves healthily, and moving forward with optimism, positivity, and Godly light. Be certain, it is Satan himself who wants to keep us in a state of unrelenting regret, keeping us bitter, insecure, and fearful. Whatever a coach does to cheer on his team to victory, Satan does the opposite. He poisons us with a defeatist mentality to keep us in a state of mourning over who we are, what we have done, and where we've come from. He's the confidence destroyer who makes a powerful and unforgiving case against us, sprinkled with manipulative anecdotes. He is none other than the Angel of Death who has come to kill our potential because he knows that the moment we become self-forgiving, we are freed from his fatal clutches and back in God's Hands, where all things are possible.

 

I cannot help but think of King David as the best example. He was a mere shepherd boy who couldn't tolerate the Israelites cowering before the Philistines. Even though he was not tall or trained as a warrior, he decided that he would be the one to fight Goliath. A mere lad with a slingshot stepped forward while all the King's men trembled before their fatal foe. When David was given King Saul's armor to take on Goliath, miraculously, although he was of smaller stature than King Saul, the armor fit him perfectly. With untempered devotion and faith in God, he did not put limitations on his potential, and reality catered to his will. Nonetheless, King David shed the royal armor because he felt more comfortable in his own skin. It is not the armor, nor the crown, nor your stature that defines you. It is your will and the spirit of God that will animate the steps you take in life and the blessings that accompany them.

 

So many of us are burdened by past debts and would be only too happy to hear the creditors say they forgive those debts. The same concept applies here: Don't let the past, who you think you are, or what you've done weigh you down. Forgive your debts and move on. Feed your body and soul with new information. Even on a physical level, we know that our body replaces around 330 billion cells per day, and scientists say that within 80 days, we are, for the most part, a completely new person. Act like one!

 

In this week's Torah reading of Pinchas, we are briefly reminded of Korach's fate. The earth opened up and swallowed him and his cohorts for rebelling against Moses' leadership. But we are also reminded that "Korach's sons did not die." Why? Because they separated themselves from their father's evil ways and repented. We can cast off the "sins" of our "fathers" by being children of Hashem and keeping His Torah. Indeed, we are the fathers of our own sins, but we can cast off our old selves and become fathers of good deeds, commandments, and a new life.

 

In the Talmud, people have an obligation not to remind others of their past misdeeds, assuming they may have atoned and grown spiritually from their mistakes. So, if others are not allowed to remind you, stop reminding yourself. Stop remembering your past, and start remembering your future.

Shabbat Shalom

 

Dedicated to the memory of my best friend Pinchas (Phil) who never let me cower in retreat but always told me, “You can do it,” no matter what the challenge was. Those words were among the greatest gifts I ever got. May his neshamah have an Aliyah.

The Price We Pay

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“Seeing Israel thrive… is close to miraculous,” President Joe Biden once said during a trip to Israel. He was almost right. But the success of the modern State of Israel in spite of every single threat and obstacle it has faced and continues to face, is not close to miraculous, it is miraculous. We all know Who makes miracles happen but somehow we find it so hard to give credit where credit is due. Because when we know, we owe! So, instead, we pat ourselves on the shoulder and conveniently convince ourselves that our own ingenuity and persistence are the reasons we succeed.

This somewhat faulty mindset is common for nations and individuals. But the State of Israel is not like any other country nor are the Jewish people like anyone else. We know because we can see it with our own eyes and also G-d told us in the Torah: “…You shall be to Me a treasure out of all peoples….” (Exodus 19:5)

But if for some ignorant or arrogant blindness, we don’t take G-d at His word, then look at the facts on the ground. Jewish individuals have made significant contributions in various fields, including physics, chemistry, medicine, literature, and economics. Relative to the number of Jews in the world, we have won a disproportionate amount of Nobel Prizes. There are approximately 2.6 billion Christians in the world today and 2 billion Muslims. As for Jews, there are only 16 million, which is 0.2% of the 8 billion worldwide population. Yet our voice is hardly muffled amidst the din. We are the tiny little David facing a schizophrenic Goliath, meaning one day the world loves us, most days they hate us. And yet, the Jew and Israel are still here, while the world’s great empires are now dust. If not for high school history we would never know they existed at all. (article continued below)

And yet as Mark Twain said: "All things are mortal but the Jew; all other forces pass, but he remains. What is the secret of his immortality?" Not Joe Biden!

Last year Biden said that Israel is a nation that will never dwell alone as long as there’s the United States. And yet that gracious tongue which offered such reassuring words of solidarity has yet to extend an invitation to Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu since he won the Israeli elections in November.

My friends, Israel and the Jewish people will never be alone because the G-d of Israel lives among us. If we let Him. Let me fill in the words which I replaced with ellipses in the Biblical quote above: “And now, if you obey Me and keep My covenant, you shall be to Me a treasure out of all peoples, for Mine is the entire earth.”

We must admit that in all our worldly affairs we believe one hand washes the other. We work at our relationships to squeeze out the best results for ourselves. Yet when it comes to our relationship with G-d, we are ready to collect with both hands and serve with neither. What right do we have to the Land of Israel altogether if not for the holy Torah? But the Torah is not just an eternal land deed, it is the holy word of Hashem teaching us how to live our lives, i.e., keeping Shabbat, observing kosher laws, giving charity, being honest in business, keeping your hands and eyes off of someone else’s wife, etc. If we behave, there will always be ONE to rely on: “I shall raise my eyes to the mountains, from where will my help come? My help is from the L-rd, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to falter; Your Guardian will not slumber.” (Psalms 121:1-3) (article continued below)

In this week’s Torah reading, we see how King Balak sought out Bilaam to curse the Jewish people. But Bilaam was unable to curse them. Why? Because the Jewish nation was behaving properly. “How goodly are your tents, O Jacob, your dwelling places, O Israel.” The Israelites left no void or crevice for curses to sneak in like an open wound accommodating infection. They were impervious to any harm because they didn’t open the door to Satan by sinning. As such, those who cursed them would be cursed, and the haters would drown in the deep end of their own hate and envy. Can we ever forget the complaint of a frustrated Hamas member years ago who said, “Their G-d changes the paths of our rockets in mid-air.”

Kabbalists teach that each act we do creates an angel—either one that serves as our advocate or as our prosecutor, depending on our deed or misdeed. To make that teaching more accessible or palatable, know that physics proves that no energy is ever lost, it changes form. Actions are energy.

And so, the question is: What kind of army of angels (or energy) are you building for yourself and our nation, good ones or bad ones? Are you building spiritual Iron Domes by keeping the commandments and following the Torah? Are you empowering G-d to help you, to help us?

That Six Million Jews died should not have us questioning, "Where was G-d?" But rather should instigate self-reflection, "Where were we?" That a calamity of such epic proportions can happen altogether, that Jews and Israel are still uniquely the target of opprobrium when all other types of disenfranchised groups have earned unprecedented acceptance legally and otherwise, that anti-Semitism seems to be as durable as Mark Twain’s Jew, that Jews and Israel have gained miraculous success, should have us reckoning with the fact that the Jewish people have been singled out for greatness, and what G-d wants from us is not simple. "And if you treat Me as happenstance [with casualness doing as you please], and you do not wish to listen to Me, I will add seven punishments corresponding to your sins."

You see, my friends, the Torah is not like a warranty from which we can opt-out because we would rather not pay the price. The Torah is the Book of Life and is the Divine guarantee that we will pay the price if we do dare opt out! Shabbat Shalom.

If Looks Could Kill

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" Jealousy, lust and the [pursuit of] honor remove a person from the world.” (Pirkei Avot 4:21)

I would imagine that the best way to know if you are getting an evil eye is to walk around with a big mirror and flash it before everyone you meet. If people start dropping dead like flies around you, there’s a good chance they’d wished you bad. Ah, but if only it were so easy to ward of all those ill-intentioned people who seem to be subverting our good luck. And so, instead, we walk around with red strings, hamsas, little plastic eyeballs and all sorts of idolatrous amulets meant to keep the demons from our door.

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But are soft little eyeballs really something to fear? Well, the Talmud teaches that a person can cause damage just by looking at another's property. It also says that 99 out of 100 people die prematurely from the evil eye. Basically, it means the graveyards are filled with those who were victims of envy. But what did the ancient rabbis know? Right? Weren’t they just as susceptible as everyone else to myth and wives’ tales? But then quantum physics came along and taught us that observation affects reality. The mere act of looking at and sizing up a particle changes it.  That certainly offers us something to think about.

Today it’s easier than ever to be jealous and to give evil eyes. All we have to do is spend an hour on Facebook to eat our hearts out reading people’s status updates. But those who cast evil eyes are not immune from backlash themselves; for the sages also teach that the act of giving an evil eye also takes a person out of this world early. The dispenser of poison is not immune to the poison it dishes out. No person is impervious to a daily diet of dioxin. And forgive me for having the temerity to offer up my opinion in the shadow of the great Talmudic rabbis, but I say giving an evil eye also makes one so darn ugly. Jealousy hangs on one’s face like a dreadful accessory that just does not match any decent outfit. 

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Jealousy/coveting never ends well. In fact, the Talmud teaches that anyone who places his eyes on that which is not his is not given what he desires and loses what he has, as we can see in this week’s Torah reading. Korach, after whom the parashah is titled, was Moses’ cousin as well as being extremely rich. He had 300 mules just to carry the keys to his treasures. But why should that be enough? He still envied Moses and Aharon and struck up a rebellion. The earth-shattering results from such mutiny were unprecedented: the earth itself opened and swallowed him up along with those who supported him.

It was not the first case of jealousy gone wrong nor the last: The rabbis teach that upon creation, the moon was envious of the sun and questioned why the sky needed two great luminaries, and so G-d diminished the light of the moon; Cain envied Abel’s sacrifice to G-d and as a result he was cursed by G-d; the primordial snake which once talked and walked, envied Adam’s relationship with Eve, with the result that G-d punished him and made him crawl the earth, eat dirt and caused hatred between him and the woman; And make no mistake about it, the moon, Cain, the snake and Korach each had tremendous potential and talents and each had great destinies of their own if they would have been busy being the best versions of themselves instead of trying to be someone else.  

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We are so busy with identity theft in the sense that we want to live the lives of others, look like another, walk and talk like them, dress like them, spend like them, that we become impostors, when our real very special selves are being smothered to death. In effect, we are really committing suicide and like aliens assuming others' identities. But make no mistake about it. We will always be the cheap wannabee knock off. All the while we feign living their life, thinking we’re living the “high life,” when in fact we are just a “lowlife”; for coveting is the biggest sin of all the Ten Commandments because it leads to the violation of all the others. If you envy you will eventually lie, cheat, steal, kill, betray, etc.

So, what is the remedy?

🐟Firstly, you can avoid looking like Cruella if you acknowledge and have faith that every person has exactly what G-d wants him to have, not one hair less or more. He knows what’s best for each of us and tests us each in a unique way.

🐟Secondly, try being happy for people when things go well for them. Instead of being like the people of Sodom, a society which begrudged each other the very air they breathed—be magnanimous. The Sodomites were consumed by their burning envy and it is no wonder that they were destroyed by sulfuric fire. In fact, we are instructed to pray for the needs of others before our own needs. Such beneficence toward others inspires Divine benevolence toward us.

🐟Thirdly, be like a fish. In the Talmud it says that fish are resistant of the evil eye because they are under the water—what is hidden is impervious to ill-wishers. What is hidden has a chance to be blessed like a seed that grows beneath the earth. The philosophy of “when you got it, flaunt it” may not be so cost efficient when it all adds up. Drape yourself in modesty and humility so that you don’t have to accoutre yourself with 100 pounds of ridiculous amulets to ward off ill wishes.

🐟Fourthly, as they say, "Be careful what you wish for." Not all things are as they appear. You covet your neighbor because your view is framed by ignorance. Know his full lot, understand his full package and you may soon find yourself pitying your neighbor instead.

🐟And finally, the best counter to all evil is keeping the commandments, doing good deeds, giving charity and studying the Torah.

Just put your ear to YOUR own life and hear your own calling.  Keep in mind that upon judgment day we will not be asked why we weren’t as good others but rather we will be asked, “Why weren’t you as good as YOU could have been?” Enough with jealousy and identity theft! Be the best version of YOU!  It will be pretty sad on Judgement Day when your own life story will be played before your eyes and you are not even in it and are costumed as someone else.

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Who's Writing Your Story?

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As I’ve written before, there is nothing harder for a writer to face than a blank white page. Its void seems to be more powerful than all the wisdom and words we have inside of us. And so, the Satan takes advantage of our insecurity and fills us with more insecurity and injects us with his toxic words, “You can’t do it, so don’t even try.” Personally, I’ve learned to recognize this enemy and stymie him; instead, I listen to the reassuring sound of my fingers clacking against the keys: Clack, clack, clack. The effort is ours to make; the results are in G-d’s Hands.

In this week’s Bible reading, Shelach, we learn how the Israelites, prior to their own entry, wanted to send spies ahead to scout out the Promised Land. They too were afraid of the “blank page” and the unknown that lay ahead.  Ten of the 12 spies came back and said the land and its inhabitants were unconquerable; they viewed their enemies as giants and superior warriors and by contrast themselves as grasshoppers believing their foe too viewed them as such. They also reported that the land consumes its inhabitants. However, two of the spies, in contradistinction said of the land, “We shall surely ascend and conquer it, for we surely can do it.”

Interestingly, all the spies observed the same reality on the ground; the difference between the naysayers and the optimists was self-confidence founded in faith.

Time has changed nothing; the lesson remains the same: If you think of yourself as a grasshopper, you will be regarded as one. “I think therefore I am.” If you think the challenges ahead will consume you, they will. The optimists and faithful, Caleb and Joshua, had faith in G-d and believed in the land’s “exceptionalism.” They were the only ones to reach their destination.

An entire generation succumbed to the doom-and-gloom tales of the ten spies and cried to go back to Egypt. As punishment, none of them were allowed to enter G-d’s precious land. And thus, an entire generation wandered for 40 years, corresponding to the 40 days the spies surveyed a land flowing with milk and honey and brought back curdled sour reconnaissance.

The fear to forge forward had them desperate to retreat--all the way back to slavery.  Before them lay a blank, but promising, G-d-blessed "page." However, they feared to write a new story for themselves. How many of us in our own lives are terrified of becoming and so instead we choose stagnation and stay put? We think what we are used to is keeping us alive while all the time it is burying us alive.

But life is not just about keeping a person breathing, it is also about creating and recreating ourselves to be better people and better Jews. Both in our spiritual and practical lives we must always keep moving and striving for growth, fearlessly.

Like the modern-day Israel that was transformed from a desert and malarial swamp into a blooming, booming and blossoming land by valiant pioneers and their descendants, we too must courageously cultivate the Garden of Eden within us. Don't tolerate the weeds, lest they strangle you. Don’t be a comfort-zone-Jew. The number one reason people bungee jump is because they want to step out of their comfort zones and feel alive. Ironic that people are ready to jump to near death, but not to life.

Friends, the beautiful thing about the blank page and your life is that they can be whatever you want them to be and read how you want them to read. Every day you have the opportunity to rewrite the story of your life.  Just because you were not brought up religious or you were brought up very religious, don’t believe the GPS--You have not reached your destination. And if you live in faith instead of fear you just might find you have invented the struggle altogether. And remember that at the other side of fear is everything you want.

This Parasha is dedicated to the memory of my grandfather Henri Aaron ben Avraham. May his soul have an Aliyah.