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As I’ve written before, there is nothing harder for a writer to face than a blank white page. Its void seems to be more powerful than all the wisdom and words we have inside of us. And so, the Satan takes advantage of our insecurity and fills us with more insecurity and injects us with his toxic words, “You can’t do it, so don’t even try.” Personally, I’ve learned to recognize this enemy and stymie him; instead, I listen to the reassuring sound of my fingers clacking against the keys: Clack, clack, clack. The effort is ours to make; the results are in G-d’s Hands.
In this week’s Bible
reading, Shelach, we learn how the Israelites, prior to their own
entry, wanted to send spies ahead to scout out the Promised Land. They too were
afraid of the “blank page” and the unknown that lay ahead. Ten of the 12
spies came back and said the land and its inhabitants were unconquerable; they
viewed their enemies as giants and superior warriors and by contrast themselves
as grasshoppers believing their foe too viewed them as such. They also reported
that the land consumes its inhabitants. However, two of the spies, in
contradistinction said of the land, “We shall surely ascend and conquer it, for
we surely can do it.”
Interestingly, all the spies
observed the same reality on the ground; the difference between the naysayers
and the optimists was self-confidence founded in faith.
Time has changed nothing; the
lesson remains the same: If you think of yourself as a grasshopper, you will be
regarded as one. “I think therefore I am.” If you think the challenges ahead
will consume you, they will. The optimists and faithful, Caleb and Joshua, had
faith in G-d and believed in the land’s “exceptionalism.” They were the only
ones to reach their destination.
An entire generation succumbed to
the doom-and-gloom tales of the ten spies and cried to go back to Egypt. As
punishment, none of them were allowed to enter G-d’s precious land. And thus,
an entire generation wandered for 40 years, corresponding to the 40 days the
spies surveyed a land flowing with milk and honey and brought back curdled sour
reconnaissance.
The fear to forge forward had
them desperate to retreat--all the way back to slavery. Before them
lay a blank, but promising, G-d-blessed "page." However, they feared
to write a new story for themselves. How many of us in our own lives are
terrified of becoming and so instead we choose stagnation and
stay put? We think what we are used to is keeping us alive while all the time
it is burying us alive.
But life is not just about keeping a person
breathing, it is also about creating and recreating ourselves to be better
people and better Jews. Both in our spiritual and practical lives we must always
keep moving and striving for growth, fearlessly.
Like the modern-day Israel that
was transformed from a desert and malarial swamp into a blooming, booming and
blossoming land by valiant pioneers and their descendants, we too must
courageously cultivate the Garden of Eden within us. Don't tolerate the weeds,
lest they strangle you. Don’t be a comfort-zone-Jew. The number one reason
people bungee jump is because they want to step out of their comfort zones and
feel alive. Ironic that people are ready to jump to near death, but not to
life.
Friends, the beautiful thing about the blank page
and your life is that they can be whatever you want them to be and read how you
want them to read. Every day you have the opportunity to rewrite the story of
your life. Just because you were not brought up religious or you were
brought up very religious, don’t believe the GPS--You have not reached your
destination. And if you live in faith instead of fear you just might find you
have invented the struggle altogether. And remember that at the other side of
fear is everything you want.
This
Parasha is dedicated to the memory of my grandfather Henri Aaron ben Avraham.
May his soul have an Aliyah.
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