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Nonetheless, that blank wall seemed to be rejecting the mask and
was demanding something else. Did it even know what it wanted or was
I supposed to figure it out?
Three days later, with no difficulties at all, I hung up the
antidote to the mask and all its duplicitous implications -- three 12X12
paintings, each bearing a bold Hebrew letter: Aleph, Mem & Tav.
Together they spelled the word emet (truth). After
all, what better mantra to inspire a writer and teacher of Torah?
The problem with most of us is that we are seduced and charmed
by masks and false veneers, even our own. They seem to make it easier to
interface with the world, and even with ourselves. It is ironic that Moses wore
a mask to temper the light and Godliness that emanated from his face, while we
wear figurative masks to hide our lies and inner darkness. We hide behind
our titles, money, fashion labels, and some even hide behind religious garb.
It takes a great deal of courage to be truthful: both to express it
and to accept it. We all know the saying, “The truth hurts.” But
when we hide behind lies, our lives are beset with problems. We then turn to
God and ask, “Why is this happening to me?” We can face the
truth only when life hurts more than the truth. When our tears burn like
acid. Then we seek the source.
Truth involves accountability. It involves the whole story, A-Z,
not just the details you want to include. And that is why the three-letter word
for truth in Hebrew is comprised of the very first, the middle
and the very last letter of the Aleph Bet. Truth is ALL
encompassing.
We saw in last week’s Torah reading that Joseph’s brothers seemed
to live without much guilt all those years after selling him as a
slave. They only dared to face the truth after they were beset with
terrible troubles when they went down to Egypt to buy food and Joseph accused
them of being spies. The truth was not extraneous to them; it was in
them.
“They said
one to another: "INDEED (aval),
we are guilty for our brother, that we witnessed the distress of his soul when
he begged us, and we did not listen. That is why this trouble has come upon
us." (Genesis
42:21)
The Hebrew word aval (indeed) which initiates
the brothers’ long repressed confession is interesting because it can mean many
things. The manner in which they used it was honest and free of excuses:
“INDEED we are guilty.” Interestingly, the same Hebrew word, aval, also
means BUT.
Ah, the word “but,” the famous pivot upon which the best excuses
swivel: But, I wouldn’t have cheated on her if she had lost
weight; but I wouldn’t have stolen a few bucks from the petty
cash if they had paid me more; but I did it because they
deserved it. Who said the manufacturing business is dead? We
manufacture excuses every day. Instead, we really should be ripping off our
masks and taking our true selves to task.
Why? Because that same word aval which
means both “indeed” and “but” in Hebrew also spells another word, and that word
is MOURNING. Erase the Hebrew vowels under the letters and you have
no idea if you are reading the word “indeed,” “but” or “mourning.”
There are no coincidences in God’s holy language. Mourning is the
common denominator of the two roads we can travel. On one road, mourning will
heal us. On the other, it will bury us alive. We can mourn our misdeeds, pull
off the self-deceptive mask, stop appeasing our conscience, toss out cheap
excuses, and retire all the “ifs and buts” as Joseph brother’s
ultimately do.
Or, we can perpetually mourn our troubles, continue to justify our
misdeeds and invite further suffering upon ourselves -- sometimes to the point
of no return --simply because we are stubborn, arrogant or ignorant and look so
much better with the mask on. With the mask on, it’s never our fault.
It is only when Joseph’s brothers truly repented and came to terms
with their misdeeds that Joseph removed his own mask and
proclaimed to his brothers "I
am your brother Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt, revealing his
true identity. (Genesis 45:4)
Instead of getting even with his brothers for their cruelty towards
him, he removed an additional mask and reassured them that what had
transpired was all part of God’s plan.
And so it is with us all. When we start removing the
fake and phony in our lives, search deeply and do teshuva, we
will begin to see the Hand of G-d and realize that everything that happens to
us is part of a greater plan.
Truth is the very seal of God and
when we live a life of lies it distances us from our Creator and obscures
reality.
The last three letters of the first three words of Genesis spell the Hebrew word Emet. Rabbi Simchah Bunim of P'shis'che pointed out that “It is customary for an author to place his name at the opening of his book.
And
so, G-d put His byline, Emet, at the beginning of the Torah and in the story of
creation itself.
Save the
masks for Purim my friends and decorate your lives with truth. It needs no
nails or glue guns, it stands all on its own.
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