Why is God So Quiet?

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Most of us can relate to the mobile phone advertisement of years gone by wherein a person had to stand on the roof of his building for good reception and made popular the phrase: “Can you hear me now?” Though most of us have not had to literally climb a cell tower to be clearly heard or to hear, we’ve each at one time or another had to embark on an exploratory “mission” and move about to and fro to have a successful conversation. And then of course there are those of us who pretend there’s a bad connection, even though it’s crystal clear, because we’d prefer not to engage with our interlocutor. 

The ideas expressed above, as simple as they seem, are the reasons for all of life’s problems, i.e., personal, spiritual, communal, national and global: We hear what we want to hear. The world in which we live is fraught with chaos, lawlessness, inflation, increasing concerns of food shortages, Covid, Monkeypox, the Ukrainian/Russian conflict and its implications, etc. The Almighty G-d is talking to us and He too is asking: “Can you hear Me now?”  But we don’t want to hear. Our apathy, laziness, obstinance and sinfulness have lulled us into living with the ruinous “static” which has enveloped the humanity and prompt us to proceed as usual. We don’t bother to get up from our figurative seats, our comfort zones, and to morally scan our lives for better reception in order to hear what G-d is saying. And then with Goliathan chutzpa we dare ask, “The planet's such a mess—where’s G-d?”  Lest we forget, the first question G-d asks mankind in the Torah is the eternal rebuttal to our own query: “Where are you?”

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Friends, if we can’t hear the voice of G-d in our lives nor see His Mighty Hand in all that occurs, we must question ourselves alone. “Where are we in relation to His will and His word?” Last week we began reading the fourth of the Five Books of Moses, Bamidbar. Translated, it means “in the wilderness” or “in the desert.” But, its root word means “to speak.” Why should we care? Because every single thing that happens to us in life is a conversation with the Almighty. Ein od milvado (There is nothing but Him). The world was created by G-d’s words and thus everything that happens in our life is the “words” of G-d manifested as “things,” i.e., happenings, incidents, sickness, a trip and fall, etc. If we want to change the course of our dialogue with the Divine, instead of turning a blind eye, or more aptly, a deaf ear to the truth, perhaps it is time to give ear to what He is telling us. If we don’t, there will be a price to pay. G-d’s words not mine.

In this week’s Torah portion Naso, we read how when Moses would come into the Tent of Meeting to speak with G-d, he would hear the divine voice speaking to him from the two cherubim above the covering which was over the Ark of Testimony. The rabbis teach that one might come to believe that G-d spoke in a low voice and so only Moses could hear Him. “So, the verse stresses that it was the voice—the same thunderous voice that spoke at Sinai and resounded throughout the universe which spoke to Moses in the Sanctuary. But when the voice reached the doorway, it stopped and did not extend outside of the Sanctuary.” (Chabad.org) Yet, there was no soundproof technology then and the volume of G-d’s words has not been lowered at all. So how was it possible that no one else heard?

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The answer is that spiritual proximity enhances our hearing. If one chooses to stand outside the sanctuary, outside the directives of the holy Torah and its life preserving commandments, then life will degrade to a chaotic cacophonic screech and the voice of G-d will seem muted. As an example (without wishing to reduce the holy to the mundane), we know that humans cannot hear a dog whistle and yet dogs are able to pick up the high-frequency sounds. A dog can be sitting in our lap and have an audio experience to which we are not privy. The same is true of our spiritual receptors. The more we do what G-d wants the better we can hear Him and the sweeter will be His message. In the interim we should begin to contemplate the idea that His voice is ever present, but it is we who have stepped out of the figurative sanctuary or listening room.

The sages teach that if we leave G-d for one day, He will leave us for two. Unfortunately, we are an idolatrous nation who puts everything before G-d. A society getting its moral codes and cues from the likes of Netflix and filthy song lyrics, instead of Torah, is in very big trouble. It is time to hit the mute button on stupidity and the degenerate filth we’ve normalized. For I truly fear that the next time G-d asks again “Can you hear Me now?” it will be painfully deafening and several decibels too late. 

 And it will be if you obey the Lord, your God, to observe to fulfill all His commandments which I command you this day, the Lord, your God, will place you supreme above all the nations of the earth… You shall be blessed when you come, and you shall be blessed when you depart. (Deuteronomy 28:1-6)   Shabbat Shalom!

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Does Your Story Add Up?

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The salutation on the letter I received from the US Census Bureau was hardly warm and personal. It read, “Dear Resident.” Now, as a law abiding, patriotic and taxpaying citizen, it would hardly upset the Republic if I was greeted by the feds with, “Dear beloved citizen, Aliza Davidovit.”  So be it, even without Uncle Sam’s reciprocal sentiments, my heart will mend. Nonetheless, it is a humbling thought that our existence, as per the census at least, is a mere statistic. You have been counted, but do you count? 

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What have you counted for in this lifetime? Have you been a mere number or have you counted for one but lived as if you alone were an entire army, an indomitable force that gave life to your convictions, gave love to the world, gave hope to the downtrodden, gave kindness a home, and served the will of God?  Anyone who knows a bit about computer programming knows that any image we see on a screen is composed of pixels, and those pixels are composed of numbers. Change any number on the computer and the picture you see will change. Do you really know your own number and what spiritual image you are conjuring and casting? Where are you in sequence relative to your obligations to Judaism, to your fellow Jew, to our Holy Land of Israel? When we are at the DMV or a bakery, we all know our number; G-d forbid we should miss our turn. But in relation to G-d, we are hardly so conscientious.  Perhaps we have all stepped out of place and that is why the image of a fractured troubled world is being projected.

In this week’s Torah reading, Bamidbar, we read how G-d commands Moses to take a census of the entire assembly of the Children of Israel. The sages teach that G-d wants a counting of His people for a different reason than governments. G-d counts out of love. Each is precious to Him. For certain, as the All-Knowing, does He really need to count? Doesn’t He already know exactly how much of everything there is? He could have easily told Moses the census count is 603,550. But any collector of fine things knows that you count and count again what you love.  And this counting of His children was hardly impersonal; it was by name and father’s house and tribe. 

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But the count my friends is not only precious for the counter, but also for the counted. Imagine having three kids and in front of them only count two. The hurt is unfathomable. We each want to be counted and want to count. But with that acknowledgement comes responsibility. G-d is not just counting His children, He is counting on them as well. He is counting on you: Don’t just be a Jew at heart, i.e., “A Cardiac Jew,” be a Jew in thought, speech and action.

Fear not, G-d doesn’t want clones. He values your individuality or you wouldn’t be here. Just as each tribe had its own flag and color and gem, you too have a unique special attribute with which Hashem gifted you. And you are meant to use it in His service and in a concert with your fellow Jew. Yes, every Jew has to keep the commandments, but one is also compelled to offer what is unique in them. Look deep into yourself. The best mirror of oneself is the study and observance of Torah. It really shows you who you are, who you are not and what you should be and can be. The sages teach us that there are 248 limbs in the body corresponding to the positive commandments and 365 tendons corresponding to the negative commandments (equaling the 613 commandments), which comprise the entire commandments in the Torah. My question to you is how many of your body parts are acting in service to God? If the parts make the whole, then how much of you is acting Jewish? The statistical odds of being born Jewish is small. Value your uniqueness and rarity. Don’t just be counted or lazily count yourself out, count for something!  You can fool the whole world, but G-d Himself knows your number; and it’s your duty, as G-d’s treasured children, to add up to much much more!

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In memory of my best friend Phil Sieradski

Do I Really Need You?

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Theodor Herzl’s consideration of Uganda as an alternate “Jewish Homeland” was rejected for there is only ONE Promised Land. The Israelites’ worshiping of idols was sinfully wrong because there is only ONE G-d. And most pertinent to this discussions is that a nation whose underlying sentiment is that another Jew’s affairs is “not my business,” is deleterious and splintering, for the Jewish people too, are ONE. A fundamental of Judaism, as foundational as the Aleph Bet, is that all Jews are responsible for one another, for we are ONE people. 

G-d, His Torah and Israel, i.e., the people and Land are ONE. As such all our destinies are intertwined. Our shared responsibility does not end by donating money to a Jewish cause or planting a tree in Israel; those, however important they may be, are just pretenses to shirk responsibility. And great responsibility beckons us all the days of our lives and every moment of those days. Every sin a Jew makes affects the entire nation and the world. For your adultery, your thievery, your gossip, your lies, your arrogance, every Jew will pay. When it comes to G-d’s laws, we have a very hard to time swallowing this acerbic truth. And yet in our secular lives we get it loud and clear. When a Jewish ball player, boxer, philanthropist, scientist does something great, we beam and aim to bask in their greatness. Ukrainian President Zelinskyy’s resolve and courage made many a Jew proud. When Madoff-like characters rear their ugly corrupt heads, we shrink and hide. We are quite cognizant of the fact that in world affairs the act of one Jew impacts us all. 

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The Coronavirus was a perfect manifestation of what occurs also in the spiritual realm, it too with serious repercussions. A man coughs in Wuhan and today 6.28 million people are dead. A Jew sins anywhere, and we all are impacted. “Each man will stumble over his brother.” (Leviticus 26:37).  

We see early on in the Book of Joshua as the Israelites set out to conquer the land, they are commanded not to take any silver and gold, nor vessels of copper and iron for themselves as they are “consecrated to the Lord.” The Israelites are miraculously successful in their first effort and the walls of Jericho fall to them by the mere blowing of the shofar. In their next battle 36 men die and Joshua is crestfallen and cried out to G-d only to find that one man did not obey the commandment and coveted the gold and silver and took some for himself. The sin of one Jew caused the death of 36 others. I often think about the Israeli soldiers who are putting their lives on the line for us spoiled Jews in the diaspora and when I’m tempted to be lax in observing a mitzvah, I think perhaps their lives are in my deeds. And they are, just as their lives are in our prayers.

In the past I’ve asked on Facebook whether G-d is a punishing G-d or a loving G-d. For the most part respondents feel that G-d is a loving G-d. It is true. But one does not preclude the other. To live life thinking that we can flout G-d’s will and not worry because He loves us no matter what is living in a Disney-like world with feel-good exemption coupons. Anyone who has read the Torah even a single time knows that our behaviors matter. When Adam and Eve sinned, G-d punished them; the generation of Noah sinned, and G-d drowned them; when Cain sinned, G-d punished him; and when it came to Sodom and Gemorrah, G-d destroyed them, and so on and so on. We are not in elementary school where everyone these days gets a gold star for participation. Yes, G-d loves us and that is why throughout the Torah G-d tells Moses, “Speak to children of Israel.” When you care, you remain in dialogue. But unlike humankind, G-d doesn’t talk for nothing. 

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It doesn’t matter if you are much kinder or better looking than the Jew who wears a black hat, you TOO are mandated to keep Shabbat and kosher. What really makes you “so” nice and kind if the Torah tells us that for your sin other Jews will be punished? Figuratively, if you sneeze, your neighbor will get blown away. 

We have to look no farther than this week’s Torah reading, Bechukotai to know exactly what G-d wants from us and what He will do if we don’t listen. If not, well some things are better left said for themselves:

“But if you do not listen to Me and do not perform all these commandments, and if you despise My statutes and reject My ordinances, not performing any of My commandments, thereby breaking My covenant…I will order upon you shock, consumption, fever, and diseases that cause hopeless longing and depression. You will sow your seed in vain, and your enemies will eat it. I will set My attention against you, and you will be smitten before your enemies. Your enemies will rule over you; you will flee, but no one will be pursuing you. And if, during these, you will not listen to Me, I will add another seven punishments for your sins: I will break the pride of your strength and make your skies like iron and your land like copper. Your strength will be expended in vain; your land will not yield its produce, neither will the tree of the earth give forth its fruit. And if you treat Me as happenstance, and you do not wish to listen to Me, I will add seven punishments corresponding to your sins….” (Leviticus 26:14-43).  

It goes on and on, avoid reading at your own risk.  If that’s not a G-d you can believe in, well, I don’t think He really cares. He’s not applying for a job interview.  But if you do believe in G-d, it’s time to start realizing it’s His will that counts. Yes it's true that G-d made man, but in some measures man has “made G-d” -- for we have a fashioned a G-d that fits our lazy, selfish and ironically godless agendas. Remember that you never sin alone, the whole nation is there right with you. And as Rabbi Hillel famously said, “If I am only for myself, what am I.”  The truth is, without your nation, without your G-d, without your Torah or your land, you really are nothing at all. We are one or we are none!

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All About You!

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We live in such an egotistical, self-absorbed world that it is no wonder that it is falling apart. It’s fractured by the pull of each man for himself. From selfies to the social media platforms which broadcast them, the obsession with self is nothing less than ambicid, fratricide and “everyone else-cide.” 

We deem others along with their ambitions and successes as threats to our own survival, and as such, everyone feels like an enemy and no one like a friend. And so, the world is unhinging from its axis and is on quick course to an unprecedented global transformation of some nature. Egoists would love to know that we are at the center and impetus of it all. 

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I once heard a fable which I liked very much. But as a writer, I thought that I could do better (there’s full blown ego for you!) and so I here’s my version:

There was a special island whose inhabitants were not people, but rather, positive emotions: Love, Serenity, Forgiveness, Joy, Hope, Inspiration and a few others. One day, Ego came to town to show off.

Shortly thereafter, a terrible storm was about to hit. The inhabitants of the island realized that they would have to escape to survive.

Love took a proactive role and made a boat to save everyone. All the emotions jumped on board. The boat was strong and ready to set sail. Suddenly, Love realized that Ego was missing. She quickly jumped out of the boat and went looking for him, only to find him in a bar crying over a drink.

“Quick! Hurry up! We have to leave before the storm hits!” cried Love.

Ego was adamant, “I’m not going. I should have been the first one to board the ship since I am a guest in this town.”

Love begged Ego to change his mind, but he was very stubborn. Love then tried a tactic to which Ego could relate.

“If you stay here, you will die.” said Love.

Ego, wanting nothing more than to preserve himself, agreed. When he reached the boat, Ego once more revealed his ugly disposition and ordered everyone to get off the boat so that he could board first.

All the positive emotions were happy to oblige and jumped out. Then Ego proudly got in. But just as he did, the boat sunk and cracked destroying the only escape made by the hands of Love. The storm struck and everyone died. If only Ego had left his attitude ashore, they might all have survived. But the weight of his arrogance and attitude which he brought aboard wreaked destruction for all. 

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How often in our own lives do we let ego destroy our relationships, opportunities and important occasions? Further our need to self-assert calluses our hearts and we can no longer feel the pain of others. Everyone is classified as either a steppingstone or a stumbling block. They are either to be used or kicked out of the way. Their humanity is vanquished in plots and schemes. Only we count, informs our ego. The Book of Proverbs warns us that, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” (16:18) 

This week’s parashah Behar reminds us of the same: “And you shall not wrong, one man his fellow Jew, and you shall fear your God, for I am the Lord, your God.” (Leviticus  25:17)  The rabbis explain that this includes not just actions which defraud others but words as well. It is prohibited to give someone bad advice either with the aim of destroying them or to aggrandize yourself. The regard for the rights, well-being and feelings of others is an important theme in this week’s Torah reading. It includes not charging interest to our fellow Jews, helping a brother in financial distress and the sensitivity of inheritance rights. For certain nowhere does it advocate kicking ‘em when they are down or sabotaging them when they “up” all for the sake of preserving the precious “I.” We are all in this together and G-d is watching. He thus finishes His sentence with “…And you shall fear your God, for I am the Lord, your God.”   

It is significant to note that G-d sent none other than Moses, the humblest man who ever lived, to liberate the Israelites. Moses was a reluctant leader who begged G-d to send someone else. Furthermore, we also learn humility from the location upon which G-d gave the Torah -- Mount Sinai. G-d did not pick the highest mountain in the world to bestow the loftiest gift ever given to mankind. He chose a humble mountain as the backdrop for the giving of His Torah, a Book that would render His people holy and transform them from Pharaoh’s slaves to servants of His will and masters of their passions. “For the children of Israel are servants to Me; they are My servants, whom I took out of the land of Egypt. I am the Lord, your God.” (Leviticus 25:55) That is no subtle reminder that we are NOT here to serve ourselves or to worship the ground we walk on. We are here to illuminate it with the word of the Almighty God. 

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So, let's work on shaping our egos both our gigantic ones and our fragile ones. For an arrogant man knows not his place in this world and a meek one will never make his place. Let’s chip away at the selfishness density of an ever-darkening world and let the Light in.

                                                                                    Shabbat Shalom

Time for Silence

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I’m not sure what happens every year at this time that I’ve repetitively failed to write about this week’s Torah reading, Emor. It’s ironic for me personally because it is the one which corresponds with my Hebrew birthday. The word Emor means “SAY.” In fact, within the very first sentence the word say is written three times. How auspicious for one who would become a writer and would have so very much to say. And yet somehow words  have mysteriously failed me at this same point.  Nonetheless, the sages teach that the spaces between the words and letters of the Torah are just as important as the letters and words themselves, just as is the silence between notes to give any song meaning and form.  (continued below)

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In a world of unceasing chaotic noise, perhaps talent and wisdom is to know when to stay silent. In the silence, in the spacing, our identity takes shape and defines itself. When we pull away from the narrative of our lives, ones we are often unwittingly interlocked with, only then can we really get a clearer picture of who we are. And when we reassert our voices into life anew, we can better decide where we will position ourselves. Will I be like the letter ayin that heads the word oneg which means happiness/joy or like the ayin that inserts itself at the end of the word ra, which means bad or evil?  The sages teach that every letter came before G-d ‘ere He created the world wanting to be the one that starts His Torah. Where do you want to fit in? When the silence breaks, know that sequence has consequence. Where will you place yourself vis-a-vis your relationship with G-d and others. 

It is not surprising that the word humility in Hebrew, anava, starts with the letter ayin because the ayin has no sound of its own. Its sound depends completely on the vowel attached to it: ah, eh, oo, etc.  Moses was known to be the most humble person that ever lived, in a manner, a man of silence. No sound of his own, i.e., no ego. He tells G-d: “I am not a man of words, neither from yesterday nor from the day before yesterday….” (Shemot 4:10) It was that humility that made him worthy of being G-d’s messenger and teacher to humanity. A man of no words? Today we call the Torah the Five Books of Moses. That’s a lot of words. 

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I’ve truly come to value the sound of silence. My father always taught us not to talk needlessly. So many people talk simply to talk, to be heard, to be braggarts, to be important. Their words make them feel like a somebody, from academic snobbery, to scriptural swank, to gossip, as long as  they are talking. As long as we hear our voices in the air, we feel important, alive. And the age old question comes to mind, what if a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it, did it really make a sound? The answer comes to us in last week’s Torah reading, whose voice came to me only later in the week. G-d commands the Israelites, “"You shall not curse the deaf” (Leviticus 19:14). 

Now not tripping the blind we can understand, but why not curse the deaf? Really no harm done, right? Wrong. The physical ear, whether it works or not, is a physical manifestation of the soul’s ear--and speech originates from the “soul of speech.” No words are lost in the universe and they all make their mark. And a word out of place can disrupt the algorithm of the universe. Sefer HaChinuch explains that a curse can have its effect even when it’s not heard (via Rabbi Munk). The Rambam says that a curse actually affects the one cursing. Anger, which propels curses, is tantamount to idol worship as it is a tacit reaction that implies G-d was not behind whatever it is that angered the person.  

Friends, our words comprise our reality and also compromise it. As such, we have to learn not to be afraid of the silence when we have nothing godly to say. Interesting, to give honor and respect to those who died we will often take a moment of silence in their memory. Let’s do the same for life and the living. Stay quiet to give honor and legitimacy to the words we do say. In some fields such as mine, we often get paid by the word. But when you serve G-d you are rewarded for appropriate silence.  Last week’s commandments prohibit us from cursing the deaf, and our parents, from lying to one another, to gossiping. This week’s Torah portion, ends with someone blaspheming G-d. That’s the problem with the tongue, when it gets started it doesn’t know when to stop. It will start thinking that cursing or gossiping about the deaf or those not within range is harmless and it will end up like the snake taking on G-d Himself. Talk is cheap, silence is golden. Choose your worth.

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What's Going On?

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Sometimes I feel like G-d.  No, don’t book me a room in a sanatorium just quite yet. I didn’t say I have a Napoleonic complex or think I’m Joan of Arc, just G-d. The last thing I did last night was command Amazon that I want a certain book today and with guaranteed delivery. This morning I commanded Alexa to play me songs by John Denver, and she took me home on a country road, although I did have to raise my voice because she didn’t obey at first. I also checked the security app on my Smartphone where I could check in on all the surveillance cameras watching my home. Later I’ll be using Google map and it will take me exactly where I want to go. I’m just giddy with power. Who needs G-d, are we not G-ds?

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Then I see my once vibrant active mother in her wheelchair, and I’m reminded how all our feigned posturing and pretending, our grandstanding and grand entrances, our pride and prejudices, in a single second the One and only G-d can bring us down to our knees. “Oh dear G-d, why? Why?” But Alexa cannot answer. And Waze cannot give me direction now. It’s been six years since her stroke and no automatic reply will do.

No, we are not G-ds. So funny how we try so hard to be in control of our lives and circumstances and get stressed, sick and mad when the ploys of the helm don’t respond to our directives. In just a moment’s time He above reminds us that there is a hidden hand that’s in charge of the traffic flow, and the course our life will take. And the question is, “How do we handle the darkness?” Do we have a right to be angry, accusatory and resentful of either G-d or the person to our left when we find ourselves in awful, nightmarish circumstances? I know that the new version of my mother has made a new version of me, forged through fire. And though Alexa has no answers the Book of Proverbs does: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely upon your understanding.” (3:5)   As Rabbi Shalom Arush writes, “At the point where the brain no longer understands how Hashem is doing everything for the very best, emuna [faith] begins. In other words, emuna kicks in when the brain kicks out.”

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The Talmud teaches that there is no suffering without sin, either in this lifetime or a previous incarnation. All that happens is calculated by G-d’s invisible hand. Yes, as we amuse ourselves with apps and comic omnipotence, G-d is the one in control and we rarely know His purpose. Corrie ten Boom writes in her Holocaust memoir, “Every experience G-d gives us...is the perfect preparation for the future only He can see.…” Einstein says, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” Either we believe or we don’t. It’s either all meant to be or none of it is. We can carry on kicking and screaming or with grace and faith.  If we can blindly trust a bus driver that he will take us to where we are supposed to go, how can we not trust G-d Almighty that He will take us just where we need to be? (Rabbi Arush)

We can try and figure out why G-d does what He does. And whether we think we know or just don't get it, either way we are equally clueless, but the latter more humbly so. “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," says the Lord. (Isaiah 55:8)

I know all too well that I don’t have an exclusive on life’s hardships. And, in an inexplainable crescendo, I hear more stories of tragedy and suffering of late than ever before. Something is brewing. As a G-d fearing person I know when we suffer it is time to search our own souls, not everyone else’s. The 11^th principle of the 13 Principles of Jewish Faith affirms that G-d rewards those who follow His Torah and punishes those who do not. That applies to us as individuals and as a nation. Whether it’s personal tragedies or terror attacks we must self diagnose and turn to G-d. He always wants what is best for us and so we must accept the bad with the same faith and graciousness with which we accept the good.

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I look at my mother in her wheelchair and I’m reminded of the endless hours, days and nights and months I sat in the ICU with my mother until she emerged from her coma. This was far from the halls of power where I interviewed the world’s most famous people. Month after month listening to the nerve wracking bleeps of machines, watching people die, seeing families destroyed, processing the tears, choking them back and with a simple, “How are you?” they break like an irreparable dam. Oh, and the haunting howling of grief that ricochets into the night long after they have been released from the bellows of the heart. They resonate still. I realized there, more than any place else in the world, that we have to believe that G-d has His plan and we were never hired to be the architect. 

We have to learn from Joseph the Tzaddik that no matter how thick the darkness, it is part of G-d’s purpose. Like King David we must remain certain, “Though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.” (23:4). Friends, I know it is so very hard to have faith when we are crying and when we are flailing and failing and mad at the world, but I also know that it is even harder to live without it. Remember it is ALL from G-d or none of it is. Siri and Alexa and their like are great modern inventions which reveal to us that our words can activate the world around us. Now we have only to take our words and redirect them to the One who has all the answers and pray to Him to activate miracles. 

                                          Shabbat Shalom.

            In Memory of Cila bat Beirish. May her neshama have an aliya!

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