Who's Doing the Walking?

When we were children, my brother had a distorted old pair of running shoes which he refused to throw away because they were so comfortable. My mother, to no avail, kept telling him that distorted shoes affect your walk and can misshape a growing foot. She also had her own theory for me too. She’d say, if you walk around in very baggy clothing all the time, you’ll grow into them and won’t feel yourself getting fat. Now, this is no blog on orthopedics or weight, but the running shoe and sweatpants admonishments have become symbolic life lessons for me. Where she was a pragmatist, I was a philosopher.

How often in life do we fall into what is comfortable for us instead of what is good for us? Too often! But, the comfort zone, dear readers, is not your friend. It’s a place where we lull ourselves with excuses, cower in fear, and stop seeing who we are and what we are becoming. In the “bagginess,” the details get lost, and there is no valuable reference frame to measure our lives, our growth, and, G-d forbid, our failures. But we can't fear failure. It is a teacher after all, not a death sentence.

It's sad—no, it’s tragic—how many of us get too comfortable in jobs that are beneath us or “love” relationships that diminish us, or body sizes that inhibit us, or habits that kill us. We even grow comfortable in our misery and toxicities that we can no longer notice due to familiarity. 

In this week's parashah, we read about the traits that make an animal or species kosher or not. Doing so involves scrutiny and isolating traits that qualify a potential food source. We have to review our own lives and our own traits with the same scrutiny and start cutting out the things, friends, habits, etc., that are inhibiting our reach for excellence, including spiritually.

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Yes, it’s intimidating to dip one’s toe in the big wide world because even as we get inspired, we really think everyone else is better than us, smarter than us, more capable than us. Basically, we are afraid of life. But as the book Outliers portrays via data, “geniuses” are made, not born. Few are greater than us naturally. The proof is that the self-help market is a multibillion-dollar industry. Without ever opening a self-help book, merely acknowledging the size of that industry should be an instant cure for all our insecurities. It’s telling us, rather shouting at us, that everyone is in the same boat. Everyone is afraid or insecure on some level.

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In a few weeks, we will be entering the month of Elul on the Hebrew calendar, which is a month of introspection wherein people try to improve themselves prior to the upcoming high holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. But change can never really come if we don’t hone in on what needs to be changed. This week’s Parasha Re’eh opens with the words, “Behold, I set before you today a blessing and a curse.” We think the choice should be clear and easy. But the evil inclination starts blurring the lines between choices, and we very often grab for the curse because it’s comfortable.

We are told that G-d doesn't recognize the Jewish people from one Yom Kippur to the next. The pure souls that left the synagogue a year earlier have returned in a blemished state one year later. My prayer for all of us is that next year G-d won’t recognize us once again, but only because we are better, brighter, happier, healthier, and holier than ever before.

And as my mother taught, stop falling into things that mask your faults or accommodate them, and choose the blessings--choose life.

Who Are You? & Why They Hate Us

Pulling out my calling cards made me feel important: ABC News, Fox News, Lifestyles Magazine—no shabby affiliations by any means. As a journalist, I must admit that at the start of my career, meeting prominent people was intoxicating. There it was: my name in the byline next to world-famous headliners, congressmen, journalists, and rock stars. I was initially proud—feeling like a superstar by association. When you rub shoulders with such people, what really rubs off?

As we know, all that glitters is not gold. For the most part, it was a fake world, both bamboozled and paranoid with itself. Some of the people I interviewed and met have been indicted and have committed serious offenses. Am I now guilty by association? It seems only fair, given that I gained honor from their klieg lights. At what cost, I ask, do we cling to our titles, prestige, and illusory visions of ourselves? A whole life can pass without truth. We cling to status symbols, striving for more, without deeply contemplating who the real audience is.

I consider myself fortunate because, for every "star" I’ve pursued, some fallen, I was keenly aware of the presence of a Higher Power above them—Hashem. When I realized I was living in a vapid world of make-believe, there was something real and unchanging for me to grasp onto—G-d and His Torah. Scrolled up in the heart of every synagogue and within every Jew is the true infinite source of light, not one that switches off when the show ends or burns out midway.

Our egos and pride have become massive scaffolds holding up our house of cards. But when life huffs and puffs, it will blow our "house" down. The eye-opening antisemitism of the past year, reminiscent of the hatred preceding the Holocaust, has served to knock down our scaffolds. Despite our significant contributions across every echelon of society, the Jew is still hated. Despite all we’ve contributed scientifically, monetarily, or otherwise to improve the world, we remain targets of hatred. The simple question of why should not be beyond our inquiry. Both the Jewish people and their tiny country are uniquely targeted for opprobrium.

Here's why!

Have you ever known someone who achieved great success, only to be criticized for “forgetting where they came from”? That’s us, the Jews. We have forgotten our origins and what we are meant to do on this planet. G-d told us we are His special chosen nation, and our job is to behave like Jews and be a light to all the nations. Being a Jew means being honest in business, keeping kosher, giving charity, and representing G-d with class, grace, and integrity. But we’ve come to love ourselves too much and serve our own desires instead, causing our holy charge and all that comes with it to disintegrate in the tantalizing process of assimilation—a people trying so hard to fit in when we were born to stand out.

We have modern-day role models, but perhaps it’s best to look toward figures whose names still inspire thousands of years later—like Moses. Moses didn’t need titles. He was the most humble person who ever lived. The greatest prophet in history, who spoke face-to-face with G-d, did not have business cards that read Prophet-in-Chief or CEO of the Torah. Moses was called a servant of G-d. King David’s humility, too, made him the greatest king in history: "And I am a worm and not a man" (Psalms 22:17). I'm not knocking achievement, just forcing the question: Who are you serving?

If antisemitic governments and institutions can expel Jews or expropriate their possessions, what remains of us? What can we pass to the next generation? When we leave a job, retire, or get fired, and our business cards become obsolete, who are we? Do we just become sad, pathetic old stories of what we used to be? To understand who we are, we must know where we come from. We are the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. We are the students of Moses and the trustees of the Divine word chosen by G-d Himself. We are Jews, deliverers of light. That is our job and duty. So, stop focusing on the calling cards and listen to your calling. Don’t make G-d shout. Because, in case you haven’t noticed, the discontent is getting louder.       Shabbat Shalom!

The Weight of it All

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 We live in such an egotistical, self-absorbed world that it is no wonder that it is falling apart. It’s fractured by the pull of each man for himself. From selfies to the social media platforms which broadcast them, the obsession with self is nothing less than suicidal.

 

We deem others along with their ambitions and successes as threats to our own survival, and as such, everyone feels like an enemy and no one like a friend.  And so, the world is unhinging from its axis and is on quick course to an unprecedented global transformation of some nature. Egoists would love to know that we are at the center and impetus of it all.

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I recently heard a fable which I liked very much. But as a writer, I thought that I could do better (there’s full blown ego for you!) and so I here’s my version:

 

There was a special island whose inhabitants were not people, but rather, positive emotions: Love, Serenity, Forgiveness, Joy, Hope, Inspiration and a few others.  One day, Ego came to town to show off.

 

Shortly thereafter, a terrible storm was about to hit. The inhabitants of the island realized that they would have to escape to survive.

 

Love took a proactive role and made a boat to save everyone. All the emotions jumped on board. The boat was strong and ready to set sail. Suddenly, Love realized that Ego was missing. She quickly jumped out of the boat and went looking for him, only to find him in a bar crying over a drink.

 

“Quick!  Hurry up! We have to leave before the storm hits!” cried Love.   

 

Ego was adamant, “I’m not going. I should have been the first one to board the ship since I am a guest in this town.”

 

Love begged Ego to change his mind, but he was very stubborn. Love then tried a tactic to which Ego could relate.

 

“If you stay here, you will die.” said Love.  

 

Ego, wanting nothing more than to preserve himself, agreed. When he reached the boat, Ego once more revealed his ugly disposition and ordered everyone to get off the boat so that he could board first.

 

All the positive emotions were happy to oblige and jumped out. Then Ego proudly got in. But just as he did, the boat sunk and cracked destroying the only escape made by the hands of Love. The storm struck and everyone died. If only Ego had left his attitude ashore, they might all have survived. But the weight of his arrogance and attitude which he brought aboard wreaked destruction for all.

 

How often in our own lives do we let ego destroy our relationships, opportunities and important occasions? The Book of Proverbs warns us that, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” (16:18)

 

In this week's Parshah, Bo, we read about Pharaoh’s persistent refusal to let the Israelites go. There are many egomaniacs in the Tanach:  Haman, Avimelech, Absalom, etc., and Pharaoh was among them. Pharaoh deemed himself a god. He believed then he created the Nile and that he created himself. He rejected the omnipotent G-d Who created the world with Ten Utterances. Thusly, with precise retribution, God delivered ten plagues to Pharaoh and the Egyptians. His punishment was like a ten-step program to break egocentricity. But unfortunately, not everyone is mended in “rehab.” Pharaoh was one such failure.

 It is significant to note that G-d sent none other than Moses, the humblest man who ever lived, to liberate the Israelites. Moses was a reluctant leader who begged G-d to send someone else.

 

Furthermore, we also learn humility from the location upon which G-d gave the Torah -- Mount Sinai. G-d did not pick the highest mountain in the world to bestow the loftiest gift ever given to mankind.   He chose a humble mountain as the backdrop for the giving of His Torah, a Book that would render His people holy and transform them from Pharaoh’s slaves to servants of His will and masters of their passions.

 

But just as Pharaoh’s gigantic ego was sinful, so too is having a lack of sense of self. We have to be aware that the spirit of G-d lives inside us if we are to accomplish our missions in this world.  

 

How many of us are afraid to achieve our dreams and aspirations because we have fragile egos?  

 

“If I fail, I’ll look so bad. What will people think?”

 

But the Torah does not let us off the hook. We have to try. Where there is fear, there is no faith. Even though Moses had a speech impediment, he was the deliverer of the Divine word.

 

Even though King David was small in stature and a mere shepherd, it was he who took down Goliath.

 

Moses’ Egyptian adoptive mother reached for the basket that was well beyond her reach, but God extended her arm and she rescued none other than Moses.

 

A nation came to the shores of the Red Sea while the Egyptians pursued them from behind. Survival seemed impossible and death imminent. One man, Nachshon ben Aminadav, jumped into the waters and the sea parted.

 

You see, my friends, results are not in our hands, but God demands that we take action.  Miracles only transpire when man makes the first move. There is no instance in the Torah where things transpire differently.

 

Make your move. A kosher move. G-d is with you. We would never fear if we knew Who walked beside us. 

 

But there is a place where G-d does not walk. G-d does not dwell among arrogant people.  This makes perfect sense because two things cannot occupy the same space at the same time. If you are full of yourself, there is no room for Him.

 

So, let's work on shaping our egos both our gigantic ones and our fragile ones (sometimes they are just about the same thing.) For an arrogant man knows not his place in this world and a meek one will never make his place.

 

When we serve God, we are empowered; we find our courage; we find our words; we find our rescue; we find our mission; we find our voice; we find our backbone; we find our feet; we find our true selves; And then most certainly, we find our blessed way.

 

May G-d be with you! Shabbat Shalom!