Who is Spying on You?

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As I’ve written before, there is nothing harder for a writer to face than a blank white page. Its void seems to be more powerful than all the wisdom and words we have inside of us. None of our previous literary accomplishments seem to offer the loving assurance, “Don’t worry we too all started with a blank page.”  But emptiness, my friends, craves to be filled. And so, the Evil One takes advantage and fills us with insecurity and injects us with his toxic words, “You can’t do it, so don’t even try.” Personally, I’ve learned to recognize this enemy and stymie him; instead, I listen to the reassuring sound of my fingers clacking against the keys. Clack, clack, clack but the results are in His hands.

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In this week’s Torah reading, Shelach, we learn how the Israelites, prior to their own entry, wanted to send spies ahead to scout out the Promised Land. They too were afraid of the “blank page” and the unknown that lay ahead.  Ten of the 12 spies came back and said the land and its inhabitants were unconquerable; they viewed their enemies as giants and superior warriors and by contrast themselves as grasshoppers believing their foe too viewed them as such. They also reported that the land consumes its inhabitants. However, two of the spies, in contradistinction said of the land, “We shall surely ascend and conquer it, for we surely can do it.” Interestingly, all the spies observed the same reality on the ground; the singular difference between the naysayers and the optimists was self-confidence founded in faith. Time has changed nothing; the lesson remains the same: If you think of yourself as a grasshopper, you will be regarded as one. If you think the challenges ahead will consume you, they will. The optimists and faithful, Caleb and Joshua, had faith in G-d and believed in the land’s “exceptionalism.” They were the only ones to reach their destination.

An entire generation succumbed to the doom-and-gloom tales of the ten spies and cried to go back to Egypt. As punishment, none of them were allowed to enter G-d’s precious land. And thus, an entire generation wandered for 40 years, corresponding to the 40 days the spies surveyed a land flowing with milk and honey and brought back curdled sour reconnaissance. The fear to forge forward had them desperate to retreat--all the way back to slavery.  Before them lay a blank, but promising, G-d-blessed "page." However, they feared to write a new story for themselves. How many of us in our own lives are terrified of becoming and so instead we choose stagnation and stay put? We think what we are used to is keeping us alive while all the time it is burying us. We prefer to remain caterpillars all the while keeping the potential to become butterflies trapped inside of us.

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But life is not just about keeping a person breathing, it is also about creating and recreating ourselves to be better people and better Jews. If you are the same person you were yesterday, you are dying.

Both in our spiritual and practical lives we must always keep moving and striving for growth, fearlessly. Like the modern-day Israel that was transformed from a desert and malarial swamp into a blooming, booming and blossoming land by valiant pioneers and their descendants, we too must courageously cultivate the Garden of Eden within us. Don't tolerate the weeds, lest they strangle you. Don’t be a comfort-zone-Jew whose mantra is: “I’m happy the way I am.” When G-d told Moses to send spies, it was not merely to scout the land but a charge for each person to spy out themselves in order to identify and destroy the enemy within thus expanding the inner zone wherein G-d and His Torah can dwell.

Friends, the beautiful thing about the blank page and your life is that they can be whatever you want them to be and read how you want them to read. Every day you have the opportunity to rewrite the story of your life.  Just because you were not brought up religious or you were brought up very religious, don’t believe the GPS, you have not reached your destination. And if you live in faith instead of fear you just might find you have invented the struggle altogether. Don't worry too much whether or not the NSA, Facebook or others are spying on you, but rather refocus your concern to a reconnaissance mission of self-discovery  and what it is exactly you are doing with what you find.

                                                    Shabbat Shalom!

This article is dedicated to the refuah sheima of my mother Rivkah bat Menucha Mintzia who taught me symbolically through her amazing decorating skills that what’s old can be refurbished, refixed, reupholstered, revived and often repurposed. The same is true for our lives.

 

What Does G-d Do with our Complaints?

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With the high drama of the “plague” behind us many exhale saying, “I can’t wait for life to go back to normal.” Yet, I recall with great clarity how many of those same complainers were dissatisfied when life was “normal.” People have short-term memories and tend to be reconstructionists when traveling down Memory Lane. I can’t help but feel sorry and much worried for those whose future is obstructed by renovated nostalgia. Firstly, the alleged “normalcy” of the past is problematic in and of itself, i.e., please define normal. Secondly, we are never going back to that world of imagined happiness. 

The courageous and honest amongst us will start to remember our complaints and gripes, our disappointments and the gnawing emptiness that materialism and success could not fill. Some of us will even recall in the echo chamber of our conscience that rumbling grumbling sinful sentence we oft repeated: “I hate my life.”

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We read about people just like us in this week’s Torah portion, Behaalotecha: After being freed from slavery, “The people were looking to complain, and it was evil in the ears of the Lord.” (Numbers 11:1) The Egyptians had enslaved the children of Israel and embittered their lives with back-breaking labor. They cried out to G-d and He freed them. Do they in turn send G-d a jumbo thank-You note for their miraculous rescue? Not really. Contrary to the famous words, “Give me liberty or give me death,” the Israelites, once having obtained liberty, said give me slavery. They lamented the fact that were ever taken out of Egypt. “We remember the fish that we ate in Egypt free of charge, the cucumbers, the watermelons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic.” They wanted to go back to “normal.” But as the commentator Rashi points out, it is written that the Egyptians wouldn’t even give them straw to make bricks. So, if straw was not given “free of charge” were these delicacies given to them free of charge? Nostalgia is a distortionist.

Some people’s eyes have been opened because of what the world went through for the past few years and they have pivoted their priorities. They saw through the shallowness and the fake and phony of their lives and decided to move, change careers and embrace family and G-d. Others, however, still cry for their figurative return to Egypt. After all, slavery offers routine and therein we find comfort even while serving fake shiny gods.

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The Israelites were given manna from Heaven, the food of angels. It was a perfect food meant to maximize spiritual health. Whatever food the eater desired, it assumed that taste. If that wasn’t enough, it was also completely ingested by the body and therefore the Israelites never had bathroom needs their entire 40 years of wandering. Further, their clothing never wore out and was laundered by the Divine clouds which escorted them through the dessert. Also, Hashem promised them He would fight their battles if they’d behave and would bring them to a Land flowing with milk and honey. He would elevate them above all the other nations of the world to be His treasured people. They left Egypt with all its wealth. Still the people cried and complained mostly for one reason: They missed sinning. Yes Egypt was “free”--they could sin without having to answer to G-d.

It’s time to choose my friends, who and what we are serving. G-d or the fake over-materialistic world that is killing us slowly? It's time to stop complaining and start counting our blessings. It's time to serve the source of all blessings. We must learn from the desert Jews who were never content and craved meat despite all their blessings. And so G‑d gave them as many quail as they could eat, but he punished their gluttony. Many of the complainers died there, giving it the name Kivrot Hatava, “the graves of those who craved.” Will we too let our cravings for sin become our graves?

If normal as we knew it were such a noble enterprise, why would it be called “a rat race.” G-d Himself sees the G-dly in us. He tells us be holy because I am holy. Be a royal nation. But we prefer to emulate the rat instead of royalty and eat all the garbage and lies that this idolatrous world feeds us. Yet, we learn from Perek Shira that even the rat praises the Almighty and knows its place and says, “The entire soul praises G-d. Hallelujah!"

Back to normal! What a sad joke. G-d opened the sea before us and gave us the Book of Life. Don’t look backward? There is nothing left for us there! “…For the L-rd said to you, ‘You shall not return that way anymore.’”

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Why is God So Quiet?

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Most of us can relate to the mobile phone advertisement of years gone by wherein a person had to stand on the roof of his building for good reception and made popular the phrase: “Can you hear me now?” Though most of us have not had to literally climb a cell tower to be clearly heard or to hear, we’ve each at one time or another had to embark on an exploratory “mission” and move about to and fro to have a successful conversation. And then of course there are those of us who pretend there’s a bad connection, even though it’s crystal clear, because we’d prefer not to engage with our interlocutor. 

The ideas expressed above, as simple as they seem, are the reasons for all of life’s problems, i.e., personal, spiritual, communal, national and global: We hear what we want to hear. The world in which we live is fraught with chaos, lawlessness, inflation, increasing concerns of food shortages, Covid, Monkeypox, the Ukrainian/Russian conflict and its implications, etc. The Almighty G-d is talking to us and He too is asking: “Can you hear Me now?”  But we don’t want to hear. Our apathy, laziness, obstinance and sinfulness have lulled us into living with the ruinous “static” which has enveloped the humanity and prompt us to proceed as usual. We don’t bother to get up from our figurative seats, our comfort zones, and to morally scan our lives for better reception in order to hear what G-d is saying. And then with Goliathan chutzpa we dare ask, “The planet's such a mess—where’s G-d?”  Lest we forget, the first question G-d asks mankind in the Torah is the eternal rebuttal to our own query: “Where are you?”

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Friends, if we can’t hear the voice of G-d in our lives nor see His Mighty Hand in all that occurs, we must question ourselves alone. “Where are we in relation to His will and His word?” Last week we began reading the fourth of the Five Books of Moses, Bamidbar. Translated, it means “in the wilderness” or “in the desert.” But, its root word means “to speak.” Why should we care? Because every single thing that happens to us in life is a conversation with the Almighty. Ein od milvado (There is nothing but Him). The world was created by G-d’s words and thus everything that happens in our life is the “words” of G-d manifested as “things,” i.e., happenings, incidents, sickness, a trip and fall, etc. If we want to change the course of our dialogue with the Divine, instead of turning a blind eye, or more aptly, a deaf ear to the truth, perhaps it is time to give ear to what He is telling us. If we don’t, there will be a price to pay. G-d’s words not mine.

In this week’s Torah portion Naso, we read how when Moses would come into the Tent of Meeting to speak with G-d, he would hear the divine voice speaking to him from the two cherubim above the covering which was over the Ark of Testimony. The rabbis teach that one might come to believe that G-d spoke in a low voice and so only Moses could hear Him. “So, the verse stresses that it was the voice—the same thunderous voice that spoke at Sinai and resounded throughout the universe which spoke to Moses in the Sanctuary. But when the voice reached the doorway, it stopped and did not extend outside of the Sanctuary.” (Chabad.org) Yet, there was no soundproof technology then and the volume of G-d’s words has not been lowered at all. So how was it possible that no one else heard?

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The answer is that spiritual proximity enhances our hearing. If one chooses to stand outside the sanctuary, outside the directives of the holy Torah and its life preserving commandments, then life will degrade to a chaotic cacophonic screech and the voice of G-d will seem muted. As an example (without wishing to reduce the holy to the mundane), we know that humans cannot hear a dog whistle and yet dogs are able to pick up the high-frequency sounds. A dog can be sitting in our lap and have an audio experience to which we are not privy. The same is true of our spiritual receptors. The more we do what G-d wants the better we can hear Him and the sweeter will be His message. In the interim we should begin to contemplate the idea that His voice is ever present, but it is we who have stepped out of the figurative sanctuary or listening room.

The sages teach that if we leave G-d for one day, He will leave us for two. Unfortunately, we are an idolatrous nation who puts everything before G-d. A society getting its moral codes and cues from the likes of Netflix and filthy song lyrics, instead of Torah, is in very big trouble. It is time to hit the mute button on stupidity and the degenerate filth we’ve normalized. For I truly fear that the next time G-d asks again “Can you hear Me now?” it will be painfully deafening and several decibels too late. 

 And it will be if you obey the Lord, your God, to observe to fulfill all His commandments which I command you this day, the Lord, your God, will place you supreme above all the nations of the earth… You shall be blessed when you come, and you shall be blessed when you depart. (Deuteronomy 28:1-6)   Shabbat Shalom!

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Does Your Story Add Up?

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The salutation on the letter I received from the US Census Bureau was hardly warm and personal. It read, “Dear Resident.” Now, as a law abiding, patriotic and taxpaying citizen, it would hardly upset the Republic if I was greeted by the feds with, “Dear beloved citizen, Aliza Davidovit.”  So be it, even without Uncle Sam’s reciprocal sentiments, my heart will mend. Nonetheless, it is a humbling thought that our existence, as per the census at least, is a mere statistic. You have been counted, but do you count? 

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What have you counted for in this lifetime? Have you been a mere number or have you counted for one but lived as if you alone were an entire army, an indomitable force that gave life to your convictions, gave love to the world, gave hope to the downtrodden, gave kindness a home, and served the will of God?  Anyone who knows a bit about computer programming knows that any image we see on a screen is composed of pixels, and those pixels are composed of numbers. Change any number on the computer and the picture you see will change. Do you really know your own number and what spiritual image you are conjuring and casting? Where are you in sequence relative to your obligations to Judaism, to your fellow Jew, to our Holy Land of Israel? When we are at the DMV or a bakery, we all know our number; G-d forbid we should miss our turn. But in relation to G-d, we are hardly so conscientious.  Perhaps we have all stepped out of place and that is why the image of a fractured troubled world is being projected.

In this week’s Torah reading, Bamidbar, we read how G-d commands Moses to take a census of the entire assembly of the Children of Israel. The sages teach that G-d wants a counting of His people for a different reason than governments. G-d counts out of love. Each is precious to Him. For certain, as the All-Knowing, does He really need to count? Doesn’t He already know exactly how much of everything there is? He could have easily told Moses the census count is 603,550. But any collector of fine things knows that you count and count again what you love.  And this counting of His children was hardly impersonal; it was by name and father’s house and tribe. 

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But the count my friends is not only precious for the counter, but also for the counted. Imagine having three kids and in front of them only count two. The hurt is unfathomable. We each want to be counted and want to count. But with that acknowledgement comes responsibility. G-d is not just counting His children, He is counting on them as well. He is counting on you: Don’t just be a Jew at heart, i.e., “A Cardiac Jew,” be a Jew in thought, speech and action.

Fear not, G-d doesn’t want clones. He values your individuality or you wouldn’t be here. Just as each tribe had its own flag and color and gem, you too have a unique special attribute with which Hashem gifted you. And you are meant to use it in His service and in a concert with your fellow Jew. Yes, every Jew has to keep the commandments, but one is also compelled to offer what is unique in them. Look deep into yourself. The best mirror of oneself is the study and observance of Torah. It really shows you who you are, who you are not and what you should be and can be. The sages teach us that there are 248 limbs in the body corresponding to the positive commandments and 365 tendons corresponding to the negative commandments (equaling the 613 commandments), which comprise the entire commandments in the Torah. My question to you is how many of your body parts are acting in service to God? If the parts make the whole, then how much of you is acting Jewish? The statistical odds of being born Jewish is small. Value your uniqueness and rarity. Don’t just be counted or lazily count yourself out, count for something!  You can fool the whole world, but G-d Himself knows your number; and it’s your duty, as G-d’s treasured children, to add up to much much more!

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In memory of my best friend Phil Sieradski