The Light is in Our Hands

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I always wished I could read the candles flames like the kabbalists could and know what they are trying to say. But their lights remain ever a mystery, and they burn until they are no more. Their final glow dissolves into a whisper of smoke and leaves me wondering what happens to that otherworldly light that envelops our homes for eight days? Life feels darker. They take with them their warmth and certainty only to be replaced by chilly intimidating shadows. And then I remember the words of Isaiah “And the nations shall walk at your light, and the kings at the brightness of your rising.” My fellow Jews, the torch has been passed to us: We ourselves are the lights that must live on once the festive candelabras are placed back up on the high shelf. We are the flames that must burn radiantly in our service to G-d and with our faith in Him. For it is only in the roaring eternal fire called faith, that we can extricate ourselves from the gravitational pull of uncertainty, fear, darkness and assimilation—and hence shine on.

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Interestingly, it is at this time of year when the nights just start to get shorter and the light begins to prevail that we read parashah “Miketz” wherein Joseph is released from prison with great haste. Joseph who once found himself in the darkness of a snake-filled pit into which his brother’s had cast him and then later in the darkness of Pharaoh’s dungeon could have chosen to give up. What truly did he have to live for after being sold into slavery? His life seemed to be going from bad to worse. His brothers stripped him of his coat of many colors, also taking from him his pride, his innocence, and the years he could have been living peacefully by his father’s side. In some measure they killed everything about him, except faith and the light of G-d that burned inside him. Luckily, faith knows not shackles nor taskmasters nor pits or self pity—it sees only the light. The Bible teaches us something very interesting about Joseph’s attitude throughout his great suffering. The dungeon to which he is condemned is called Beit Hasohar, the “house of light.” Even in the depths of a dark dungeon, Joseph maintained his faith in God, he remained optimistic and hopeful and he created his own “light.” It was a house of light because he himself shone. 

We must learn to do the same as we go through our own trials and tribulations. With laser-like intensity keep faith shining until it cuts right through the “dungeon” wall. It is a sin to succumb to despair and it is idol worship to believe that life is only worth living when we are riding high. In the story of Chanukah we learn how the golden Temple menorah had been stolen and there was only enough pure olive oil to last one day. The Maccabees didn’t sit around lamenting the darkness of their circumstance. They made a cheaper metal menorah. And the one day’s worth of oil miraculously lasted eight days. If only we would stoke our souls and refine our faith like pure olive oil, the miraculous light of Chanukah would be with us 365 days a year. In fact Jews are compared to olives for many reasons, one of them being that olives must be squeezed hard to yield their oil and it is through that pressing and those hardships that we yield pure light. The test and salvation is to see the light even while still in the “pressing.”

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For just as abruptly as Joseph’s problems came upon him, they left him with equal speed as he was beckoned to interpret Pharaoh’s dreams. He went from being a prisoner to being the second most powerful man in Egypt. The cause of his woes, dreams, ultimately became his cure. My friends, the trials and hardships inflicted on man are limited. Just when a person least expects salvation, it is just around the corner. There is a season for everything in our lives, even a winter of discontent. 

All the above is poetically inspiring but also useless if we only have faith in Hashem but give Him no reason to have faith in us. Joseph did not survive Egypt simply because he had faith; that would just make him a positive thinker. Self-help guru, Tony Robbins,  could have taught him that too. He survived and triumphed because G-d had reason to have faith in him. Despite all the perverse influences around him, he behaved like a Jew is commanded to behave and maintained his unique identity. The most beautiful woman in the world made daily advances toward him and he did not succumb because his father’s face and all the moral teachings of his faith guided his conscience and his deeds. Just like the Maccabees withstood the temptations of Hellenism, he withstood the corrupting influences of Egypt. Each prevailed.

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No I cannot read the candles flames as I wish I could, but that is not my business after all. My job as is yours is to look our faith in the face and be honest. If a Jew really had faith in G-d he wouldn’t work on the Sabbath because he’d have faith G-d would provide. If he had faith he wouldn’t be scared to give charity because he’d be sure of G-d’s charity toward him.  If he had faith he wouldn’t dishonestly try and manipulate results in his life. He would do everything so differently because a person of faith will “let go and let G-d.” He would try but not over try. In all our worldly affairs we believe one hand washes the other, yet when it comes to G-d we are ready to collect with both hands and serve with neither. Our job is to illuminate the world with divine light. How does one do that? By living with faith and living faithfully. It will make all your dealings straight. Our faith mandates us to “shine” for all to see, just as the menorah’s lights must not be kept private, but rather must be placed in visible locations. We are not destined to be dimwits or dim-watts but rather a light among the nations. My beloved Yidden, we are bearers of the light. That is not our calling card--that is our calling!

Every Breath You Take

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As an emphatic way to describe an experience, people often use the expression, “It took my breath away.” I too, like everyone else, am moved by things and happenings. But, in honesty, I can’t say that anything ever took my breath away other than a cardio workout. But then, unfortunately, something did. My father died. He passed away at home from a brain tumor. I watched and listened as his breathing became evermore shallow and irregular and then it stopped. And then he died. My beloved father, David, my best friend, was gone, because the Almighty had ceased to grant him the gift of breath.

That day, my breathing also changed. I physically suffered from shortness of breath for years to come, even though my life went on, albeit, with many more heartaches along the way. I sometimes found myself seeking air in a brown paper bag. And it was only a few years ago that I realized that although I was religiously observant, I wasn’t living with faith.

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I don’t recall which rabbi said the following, but his words became my new oxygen. “If one cannot catch one’s breath, how can one claim to be connected to Hashem and to be living in faith?  With worry and fret we are trying to catch tomorrow’s breaths today, and we thus overload our system with fear instead of faith.” We strive to catch the breaths that have not yet been allotted to us. That was so me, trying to pack in a year’s worth of breaths to get through a singe day.

We read in the Book of Genesis how G‑d breathed the breath of life into Adam. G-d’s breath is our animating force. Yet, often we forget that and become burdened by grief, fear and disappointment; we disconnect from G-d and go breathlessly through the motions of our life.

For many years I’d think about my editor’s life motto: “It ain't Auschwitz, keep on truckin.” This sometimes helps, but it has the duration of a meme that one scrolls through in a social media feed.

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What helps more are the words of Dr. Edith Eger, a Holocaust survivor whose mother was selected for death by Dr. Mengele before her own eyes: “Part of me was left in Auschwitz,” she said. “But not the bigger parts and not the better parts.”  No matter what happens, when we walk with G-d the better part of who we are is always with us.

Thus, no matter what happens to us, we must not yield our breath back to G-d before our time, but rather get even closer to Him and step deeper into the Torah. For the Lord is the only oxygen and faith is the “ventilator” that connects us.

In a recent interview, Lewis Howes asked Dr. Eger her definition of greatness, and her answer encapsulates a major Torah value, “Show up for life.” And she did. How about you?

We learn this empowering life lesson from our forefather Jacob in this week’s Torah portion of Vayishlach.   Jacob’s life story is marked by heartache and challenges. He was forced to run away from his home because his brother Esau threatened  to kill him;  his father-in-law Lavan  deceived him by switching his bride Rachel with Leah, and changed his wages on a daily basis for 20 years; he wrestled with an antagonistic angel and was left limping; his daughter Dina was raped; his sons started a war to avenge their sister’s abduction after making a peace agreement; his favorite wife Rachel died  in childbirth; his mother died  after he fled his brother at her behest;  his firstborn son Reuven interfered in his marital relations with his concubine; his son Joseph disappeared   for 22 years after his brothers sold him into slavery.

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Jacob’s life sounds like a Netflix drama of at least 7 seasons. But true to his name Jacob, which means the heel of a foot, He propelled himself forward in life. His heartaches did not become his Achilles heel and ruin him. Nor did he use them as excuses to spurn G-d.

Jacob breathed because he believed.

In the Book of Shemot, we learn that when Moses spoke to the Children of Israel and told them that G-d would deliver them from bondage, they did not listen because of shortness of breath and because of their hard labor. The shortness of breath reflected their state of mind. And in their troubled state of mind, they abandoned hope of redemption. They lost faith in G-d’s promise.

How often in our own lives do we get locked into our emotions and a negative mindset and forget to breathe? This runs counter to logic.  One need not be a scientist to know that one has to breathe to live. But even more than that, Judaism teaches that the entire world was created with the breath of G-d. When we step out of faith, we are disconnected from our life Source. We become overwhelmed by stress which affects our nervous systems. Studies show that people of faith live longer.

It is no coincidence that people who meditate and practice breathing exercises are able to heal many serious ailments. Rabbi Nachman taught that deep and focused breathing is a formula for a fulfilling life.

As Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.” But if you want to climb it, you have to breathe, to let go and let G-d.

And I’ll end with lyrics from a song written by an English rock band called The Police. But just pretend it’s G-d singing them to you:

 

Every BREATH you take
And every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you

 

Higher and Higher

 

It seems as if no one I know is happy; So many people have major issues sapping their peace of mind. Some, more than ever, find themselves wondering, “What’s it really all about? “What’s going on?” “What does G-d want from me?”                    

These are spiritually-driven questions, yet the askers never seem satisfied with spiritual answers.        

Tell them it’s all about stopping their sins and elevating the world through Torah and they will roll their eyes, shut you up, and start quoting gurus and their trite soundbites as if they were speedy transformative incantations. After all, saying abracadabra to make all our “boo-boos” disappear and wishes come true is so ever convenient.

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“Torah? Nah!  There has to be another way,” is a reply I’ve often heard by those attempting to shirk off any religious duty that would interrupt their daily schedules which includes bemoaning their plight. And so, as palliatives for empty hearts and flagging souls, these searchers of life’s meaning fill their lives with materialistic ornaments, promiscuity, Botox, yoga, body sculpting, traveling, shopping, decorating, golfing and all kinds of recreations and distractions, to no avail. Happiness evades them and another day dies and with it the opportunity to create light. The shallow pursuit of more and plenty will never satisfy their souls nor satisfactorily answer their questions. Rather, it will even further exasperate them as their hands are filled with “gold” but their hearts are empty of peace. Still mankind continues to build its golden calves and hence the Heavens rumble.

I find the question, “What does G-d want from me?”  puzzling. When we read articles about the Keto diet, we understand what dietary modifications we have to make. When we read self-help books, we know what the authors are recommending for better living. I am not sure then why when reading G-d’s book, we become illiterates and can’t seem to understand our native tongue. We have the Torah for over 3333 years and we still don’t understand what G-d wants from us? It’s there in black and white. Yet we are more inclined to believe the print in the National Enquirer than G-d’s own word.

When it comes down to TRUTH, we can’t go shopping and bidding for answers that we prefer, as we do on eBay for items. The Torah is the only truth. It is the blueprint of all creation, G-d’s architectural plan for creating the world. Therefore, in order to understand the world we live in and our place in it, we must refer back to the original “user’s manual.” If you don’t subscribe to it, it’s your prerogative. But then don’t seek for truth in the world of lies, just as you wouldn’t read the instructions for your toaster while trying to fix your washing machine. For doing so my friends renders us not “truth seekers” but rather voluntary obfuscators guilty of manufacturing our own darkness.

 So how can we extricate ourselves from the black hole that sucks us is deeper and deeper? Through prayer! It is like a sharp pointed arrow that can pierce the Heavens. And it can save us.  But just as with a bow and arrow, the closer one pulls the string toward one’s heart the farther the arrow will go, so to the more our prayers come from our heart with truth, the higher they will go. When we pray to G-d with all our hearts, all our souls and all our might, we can get close to our Maker and change nature itself. In fact, praying and reopening a relationship with G-d is the ark of our survival. Interestingly, the rabbis teach that the Hebrew word for ark (as in the ark which saved Noah) also means “word” alluding to prayer. Is it truly imaginable that the whole world was destroyed by boiling water and a mere boat withstood it all? Prayer is what kept it sailing and impermeable.

In this week’s Torah reading of Vayeitzei, we read about Jacob’s famous dream of a ladder set in the earth, with its top reaching the Heavens.  G-d’s angels were ascending and descending on this ladder. The angels represent the ascent of man’s prayers. The ascending angels bring man’s supplications to the celestial Throne and then those same angels descend laden with Heavenly blessings. Note that the Hebrew words for “ladder” and “voice” have the same numerical value (136), indicating a relationship between the two and demonstrating the power of prayer: the voice ascends and the sky is the limit.

If  our voices can activate Alexa, what makes us think for a single second that they can’t affect the Heavens? G-d is just waiting to hear from us as parents wait to hear from their children.  The technology also teaches us to be deliberate and articulate in our requests or we may find Alexa playing heavy metal music by Black Sabbath instead of Sabbath sundown times.   And just as we all resent communicating with people who are talking to us while texting and playing with their phones, G-d, too, wants our undivided attention. Pray as if you actually care about your relationship with the Divine, and not with burden-inspired impatience to get it over with. And as Rabbi Doniel Katz brilliantly pointed out, “How you pray is how you live your life.” And that my friends is really something to think about.        

Shabbat Shalom!

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What's Charging You?

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As I scroll through Facebook Market place, I can almost conjure the musty smell of estate sales wherein both the objects and their one-time owners have become obsolete. The resulting feeling is always the same: A waft of sadness overtakes me.  Items once cherished-- --are being sold off by a new generation who couldn’t care less. How meaningless it all seems, the summation of a life that can be auctioned off for cheap on Facebook. In contrast, I can’t help but think of the enthusiasm and the long lines that form on Black Friday for the latest things and devices. Sophist that I am, I’m compelled to examine the life that lies between. What is it all really about in the end? What remains of us if the lives we sweated through are trivialized by an “everything-must-go” sale.  

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In this week’s Torah portion called Toldot, we read about the birth of twin brothers, Esav and Jacob, who were so opposite in their view of life that they began fighting while still in their mother’s womb. Their respective affinities were clear: Esav lived only for this material world and all it has to offer and Jacob lived for G-d, for family and the world to come. Esav was so carnally invested in the physicality of this world that for food, lentil stew, he sold his firstborn birthright to his younger twin brother in order to satisfy a life-sapping hunger born from his exhaustive and exhausting sins. That birthright involved responsibility, accountability and obedient behavior, and thus it meant nothing to him. It was just a potential burden to him or as we would say, a pain in the neck. Even without FB Marketplace, for a mess of pottage, he successfully sold his divine mission for which both his grandfather and father had lived and risked their lives.

 Often people who eschew the commandments, like Esav, tend to believe that doing what G-d wants is burdensome and tiring. And yet, the first words we ever hear about Esav in the Torah are that he’s “exhausted” (Genesis 25:30). The rabbis teach that he was exhausted because he was so busy living for the pleasures of the moment that his energy was depleted in the service of himself. And make no mistake about it, Esav was not 100 years old and burned out from his “party animal” lifestyle when both he and the Torah tell us that he was “exhausted.” He was 15. By then he had already been sleeping with betrothed women, was hunting, killing, manipulating, etc. He was already a stalwart example of what NOT to do.

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 How often in our own lives have we said and hear people say, “I’m tired and burned out,” and “I’m not what I use to be.” Observing some people’s lives can be like watching the battery bars on a cell phone. Slowly, slowly we watch the life force draining away.  And they are always far from the charger just when it’s needed most. But in truth, we only decline and drain away when we attach ourselves to false G-ds, when we spurn morality and vacate religion from our lives and unplug ourselves from the ONE true "charger": G-d. The love of money, the fancy cars, the toxic quest for perpetual beauty, the fame, the gadgets, the unbridled promiscuity, the mind dulling entertainments are all false “insulin spikes” that temporarily thrill us and ultimately drain us of our life energy.

 All of our forefathers were very wealthy. Where are their riches now? In the dust with all things that don’t matter. Their last will and testaments did not bequeath us ornate trinkets or mahogany chairs that need slight refurbishing. Their legacy is eternal; it is the Torah and its life affirming light that illuminates our lives in the darkest moments, that energizes us with G-d’s own life force when haSatan tries to deplete us and depress us. When G-d is our “charger” we don’t burn out and fade away; we become like the Chanukah miracle where the light lasts longer than nature expects. We become like the burning bush that is aflame and yet not consumed. We become the radiant light unto the nations that no Nazi’s black boot can stomp out.

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 I think about Black Friday aptly named for a dark mindset that sucks us into believing that we need “stuff” and more stuff. Gadgets rendered into G-ds until they become obsolete, until they end up on an online marketplace, until a stranger with a pickup-truck hauls away a life once treasured. And so my friends I must ask you, what do we leave behind that endures? Every moment is a fight for survival and offers us the opportunity to choose between life and death, to be an Esav or a Jacob. Will we live solely for the here and now and for the immediate gratifications which leave loneliness and painful emptiness as they quickly evaporate? Or will we triumph over the hours, days and years by efforting to be better Jews on all fronts and create a lasting legacy. 

And for the self-excusing delusory romantics who tend to believe that the Almighty loves all His children regardless of how they live their lives, let the L-rd’s own words end this article: G-d says, “...I loved Jacob. And I hated Esav.” (Milachi 1:2-3). 

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What Will Be Left of You?

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Although I am no Alexander the Great, when I set out to New York from Montreal to be a journalist over 25 years ago, I too was ready to conquer the world. Like a military general with a pushpin cork board, I plotted who I wanted to meet, often via ambush, along with the implementation strategies to secure an interview. Today, with eyes ever wiser, enlightened by my continual Torah study and some abrasive life experiences, I question why I even cared at all.

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What does it really mean to conquer? Historically speaking, both the conquered and the conquerors now lie in the dust. Today, my cover stories of famous people are more ancient and irrelevant than a Roman war chariot. For in today’s speedy world, yesterday’s news dies and decomposes while still in the telling. And yet so often, I look to the contents of my weekly Torah blogs from prior years for ideas, and they by contradistinction are everlasting.  Despite 3333 years of enemies and toxic distractions, the Torah can never be vanquished nor rendered obsolete, for it is the Tree of Life--and all who cling to it shall live. 

And then I think about the spirit of conquest that possesses most of us at some point in our lives, whether one wants to be the richest, the best looking, the most fit, the most popular, or the most famous. And I must ask the same question I have often asked my interviewees: Have you paid a price for your success? And the answer is invariably, “Yes.” 

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 As we aim to conquer the worlds we respectively find ourselves in, more often than not, it is we who take the beating. G-d sends us to this earth with our talents, our desires and our ambitions. He also sends us tests along the way. No moment is trivial. If a person doesn’t conquer the moment by making the right choice, the moment conquers him. A war of attrition is launched against our values, our upbringing, our religion, our innocence, our idealism. And indeed with the skills of the best defense attorneys, we justify our dirty deeds and those “deeds” become our army--and then it kills us. We too often conquer the better parts of ourselves to “make it” in this world which the Zohar calls alma d'shikra, “the world of illusion”— “the world of lies.”  And so Perkei Avot teaches: “Do not trust in yourself until the day of your death.” 

 Each moment also offers us not only the opportunity to avert wrongdoing, but also to do good. Instead of throwing coins into a wishing well, give charity. Instead of putting your extra money into another stock, give charity. The ultimate return is much greater.

Instead of watching a marathon of Netflix episodes, watch a Torah video.

Instead of gossiping and complaining endlessly, pray and bless.

Instead of being filled with anger and fuming over what the world owes you, be loving and question when was the last time you did something for someone else, especially when it was hard and inconvenient to do so? 

In this week’s Torah reading, we read about the death of our matriarch, Sarah. It is written by the biblical commentator, Rashi, that she was as free from sin at the age of 100 as she was at 20. Although she was exposed to many challenges and problems in life, she never used them as excuses to spiral downward in life. She was very beautiful and was abducted by both a Pharaoh and a king. She escaped both situations unscathed. Sarah was the conqueror, strong and certain in her service of G-d. Her tent was literally aglow with her greatness and moral perfection.

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The life of Abraham too serves as a perfect paradigm of righteous behavior. G-d instructed him to arise and leave his place of birth. But the Hebrew words Lech Lecha translate as “go to yourself.” Indeed, upon the physical journey, there were practical challenges to conquer, but they mirrored the internal journey and were all whetstones to achieve spiritual perfection. He passed all his tests and rose to the occasions instead of letting them bring him down. He conquered the world with the word of G-d, with kindness and compassion and never compromised his beliefs. 

How will you conduct yourself upon the road of life? What will you jettison to reach your destination: dignity? honesty? integrity?  Torah? (God forbid). How will you affect the people who come across your path? How will you make this world a better place because you were in it? In what way do you reflect an aspect of G-d? What do you leave in your wake? Darkness or light? Hate or love? Jealousy or generosity? Dispute or peace?  When this rat race will be over what will be left of you?

Change your battlefields my friends and you too can walk on holy ground.  

Do you want to be a conqueror?

Start with conquering yourself, and to the victor go the spoils.

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